My title sound like a movie title right? Well, it because it is. Haha.. But I'm not talking about that movie. I just wanna talk about love... the very universal topic, (and boring to some of you).

L.O.V.E

I think everyone in my age already experienced their first love. Love is quite different than crush. I experienced my first crush when I was er.. 8 (1997, some of you might have not born yet XD) or 9? and I start realize it when I'm 10.

My first love was when I was 13. I got into secondary school (middle school?) and experienced all new things. I was 13 years old and he was 15. Whenever I remembered it, it always bring me laugh.

How I fell in love with him? Well... The story is quite long. After I finished school session, I'm waiting for my van to come. You know some people go back with their parents, some riding bus. Here in Malaysia, we also use van as transport(like school bus) to send people from school to their home and vice versa. So, the van was late.. as usual. I'm waiting with my friends. Few minutes later, there was F sitting near us. He sat on a desk. My friend made a joke saying he sat on a broken desk. We all laughed. After that we all called him 'meja patah' (broken desk).

So, since then, I always saw him whenever I'm waiting for my transport to pick me up after school. When the students were too many, the van had to do 2nd trip. I'm willing to ride the 2nd trip(which mean I will arrived home late) just because I want to see him before I went back. F is the nephew of one of the teacher in my school. So, he was waiting for his aunt to finish teaching and sent him back. After seeing him everyday, I knew that I like him. But my friend who always waiting with me was also like him. When she asked that if I like F, I had to deny. I don't want her to know, I'm kinda willing to sacrifice.

I have a lot to tell but I think I should make it short. Nobody wants to hear about my first love story.. Haha..

But yeah. Thanks to F, I experienced what love feels like. My heart pounding so hard when I heard his name. Even just his name... I couldn't take my eyes from him when I saw him.  When I was eating, if I think about him, I could not continue eating. He made me had sleepless night. He is not that good-looking but something about him makes me attracted to him. But I don't know what is it.

Luckily, he is not a player and doesn't have many girls as his friend. His only bestfriend is a boy, F². F² is one of the famous boy in my school. He is consider idol-like. F²has so many fans. Thank God my F doesn't had fan(maybe).. Only me was his true fan.

But this love story doesn't have happy ending. This is unrequited love. I, worship him from afar while him never realize of my existence. After 2 months holiday,  F was already moved from the school. I never saw him since 2002. It almost 9 years now. I tried to search for him on Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Google and everywhere. But no luck. Guess I never will found him.

So, what is this first love thing got to do with my title?

Well, as far as I know if I like a boy, their looks are similar. They all are Chinese looks. I don't know why my mind already set that way. Even my first crush when I was 8 is also Chinese looks. Well, I'm not Chinese but I do attracted to Chinese/Japanese/Korean looks.

Do I fall in love because of looks? Well, I can't say it's not true. lWhat I noticed first is his looks but his personality makes me hooked up. Does face important in love? I think face and looks are quite needed but it's not that important. It's his behaviour, his personality, his opinion on something even his way of speaking with others plays an important part. But of course, hearing this from me; from someone who never experienced in real relationship (and not really attractive)..is cannot be trusted.

After 22 years being single, I think half of me is already giving up. I didn't care anymore. Though I always dreaming to be having family but I never can't imagine who will the father of my child...

But maybe him... (which is Ikuta Toma XD )

So, what is your first love story?