When it comes down to it, if I was one choice of two for a guy, I’d want him to know. He shouldn’t have to think about it. If you like me, then I’m the one you want. If you like her, then it’s her that you should choose. No second guesses, no turning back. If you made the wrong decision, then I can’t control that. You made that choice, you’re the one that letter the better girl go.

I shouldn’t have to choose between you two. I should be sure about my feelings. I should know who I want. And yet… I don’t?

I’m letting thoughts about what happens after get to me. I can’t bare to lose both of them, so I’m forcing myself to choose one over the other. Someone would have gotten hurt, and if I keep this up, we’ll all get hurt. I’d rather let this go than watch two purely amazing people walk away from my life.

I’ve seen what happens when things don’t turn out the way we plan. I’ve seen perfect couples break up because of stupid reasons, and I’ve also seen them break up for the right reasons. But… the most painful to watch are those couples that were wonderful together then broke up, and now they can’t even look at each other. Or even, one is forcing themselves to look away while the other still looks from across the room hoping for a word that would hint that everything can go back to the way they used to be.

I like you both, and I feel terrible because of that. But now I need to make this clear to myself and to you two. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to be the reason for two friends to be torn apart. I’m not ready to lose two things that I hold so dear. I’m not ready to be significant to people that deserve better.

I just can’t do it.