Okay...

PS: If you do not care to read about the personal life of others, please turn back now. This is not a story. It's a rant. A diary entry of how my first day of work went. 

This is my first blog post ever. And it's freaking awkward because I feel like I'm talking to myself. Nobody in this world is going to read this. Like who tags a blog post with 'rant' ?

Oh right. Me.

Anywho, I'm going to start ranting about the ups and downs of work today. 

In case any of you who are reading this don't know...I'm a 16-year-old girl who has just completed a major examination.  So after the exams, we have a 2 month break before the results are out next year and our studies continue. So in order not to waste my time at home doing crappy stuff, I decided to look for a job, like many other wise kids do. *wink wink*

And I ended up being a part-time banquet server at a five-star hotel.

Last Saturday was my first day and I gotta say...the entire experience . I got scolded pretty much most of the time, throughout the entire 7 hours. (Mainly because I caught on really slowly. I only got the gist of the job right when the entire banquet was over -.- me, right?)

I arrived at the hotel, totally clueless as to what to do. We had a short briefing before the banquet started and the first-timers were separated from the ones who had worked as a banquet-server before, so we could receive extra assistance. The group of us followed another senior who was instructed to teach us what to do. One freaking hour before the actual thing started. I was literally screaming in my mind when he was talking. I mean, he spoke at the speed of a machine gun. There were soooooooo many things to remember; dining etiquette; order of servings; how to use a serving gear. I'm not going to lie, I was completely overwhelmed and I was totally confused. I think I annoyed my colleagues a little bit cause I asked a lot. :/ What? You can't blame me!

So, before I got anything down, the doors opened and the guests filed in. The banquet had started. I was assigned to one table and I had a partner, who was assigned to the table beside mine. He was a senior and had like loads of experience doing work like this. I quickly began to open napkins and draped it over the thighs of the guests (which I was instructed to) and bustled around to handle their orders of drinks (which was located outside the ballroom) when I returned, I saw a very frustrated-looking male looking at me. He told me I should have been pouring tea first before proceeding to bring them their drinks. Well, sorry mister, no one told me that.

So, obviously, I went on to bring them their tea. Then everything was alright for a little while. Until we had to serve the first course.

You see, you only need to know four things working as a banquet server:

1) Serve (The food)

2) Set (the table)

3) Top up (The drinks)

4) Clear (The used plates)

That night, it was a 7-course dinner and all you had to do was pretty much repeat the steps for all seven of the courses. Which, needless to say, was what I didn't realise until the end of the job. T.T I was absolutely clueless as to what to do after I finished serving them, so I decided to make myself useful by pouring their tea for them instead of standing around doing nothing. That was when my partner decided to come over and reprimand me, rolling his eyes every now and then, chasing me to the back to set up the utensils. (Which I did.) And then right after that, I was clueless again. I didn't know the order (as listed above) and kept getting eye-rolls, head-shakes, tongue-clicking, laughing from other colleagues. 

And because I was so eager to serve, I lost my focus. I brought a glass of cola to a guest of the other table when it was someone from mine who ordered it. And my hawk-eyed partner saw it again. Which meant another round of the above-mentioned to me. That one wasn't his fault. It was mine, I'll admit.

But there is one thing, that till today, I feel I cannot help---my lack of strength. I'm rather scrawny in real life and I cannot handle heavy weights with only one hand. And as a server, I needed to balance the tray with only my left hand while handling dishes with my right. After the third course, it was shaking and trembling under all the weight. So when I was clearing out the plates, I could only handle around 4-5 plates on my tray at the maximum before going back to the kitchen to deposit them and coming out again for more. (Note: my table had 10 people) My partner noticed this and told me off for going in too often and wasting time making too many trips. I told him I couldn't handle too many plates at once and rolled his eyes. *sigh*

Another embarrassing thing: I wasn't able to handle the serving gear well. I was only taught, for the first time in my life, 30 minutes before the banquet with like, 5 minutes of practice, mind you. I couldn't portion the first course properly and I think the guests were laughing at me quietly. I turned to my partner for help and he looked irritated once again, so the manager who passed by took over and helped me do so. He didn't blame me soon after, because he knows its my first day afterall. And so he told my partner, who quickly came to my "aid" and forced me to learn how to use them. 

My only achievement on that day was being able to handle the serving gear better throughout the courses. Useless, right? :(

Well then, after the banquet ended, we needed to help set up the table for the next banquet. When I went off to get the new table cloths, some other seniors had already helped set up my table (to which I assume was to perfection because they had done it many times before) when one of the managers came out and adjusted it for me. So, I happily went on to set up the table without really checking (my fault?) thinking that the scolding would finally end. 

But things did not turn out that way.

My partner came over again and this time, finally couldn't take it longer and spewed vulgarities, not directly at me but I assumed so, because the lengths of the table cloth were not equal. He was cursing and swearing while removing all the utensils I had so painstakingly adjusted and then barked at me to pull down one side of the table cloth while a senior handled the other side. (He gestured to the table cloth with his head and not his hand) I pulled the wrong layer, and he shook his head, sighing in defeat. 

I couldn't say anything then. I mean, what would I say? Arguing would only make matters worse. I swallowed my pride and nodded with whatever he continued giving me.

That was pretty much the end of the ty day, I guess.

And the main thing was: I don't know why, but my partner's expression gets stuck in my head. The guests as well. I kept thinking about it even after like, 4 days even though some parts of it have blurred out considerably. But the embarrassment remains.

I've never thought of myself as being a super smart person, but I want to say that I'm definitely not dumb. I received recognition for my academics throughout the four years in my Secondary School, and what happened that day just...hurts my pride. It's like I was stupid that day (Which I'm pretty sure I was). I guess I'm just upset with how slowly I caught up afterall. I couldn't get a simple job done. I'm sure my partner has told all his other colleagues about me and now I'm going to be perceived as a dumb human being. I hate that feeling.

Another question: Did my partner enjoy laughing at me? I mean, towards the end of the banquet, even though I still screwed up quite badly (not as badly as the first-half) he continued scolding me. He gave me vague instructions on what to do like...like he was almost wanting me to screw up just so he could have a chance to tell me off again. I mean, I know it sounds sadistic and all but I just felt that way and my intuitions are almost never wrong.

Good thing I don't have to go back there again if I don't choose to, which I most definitely will not. But now, I think I'm scarred from all the memories from before. I know I shouldn't quit so easily, but it's harder than it sounds. I'm now afraid to go out on more jobs because I'm afraid it will be a repeat of what happened that day. I'm just living in the moment right now, not knowing what else to do.

Getting a job wasn't necessary, it was a voluntary approach from me. Was it wrong afterall?

Sorry for venting out my frustrations here. I mean, no one's going to read this, but if anyone out there does, tell me how your first day of work went. Or give me some advice, at least. It'll make me feel a thousand times better knowing someone out there cares.

Thanks, and have a very Merry Christmas! :D