Username: Jessichu

Story Name: The Real Cinderella

 

MARKS:

 

Plot:

-          Follows the classic story. I've seen many other stories which have basically the same plot, but so far, I think your story is probably my favourite or close to favourite.

20/30 points

English:

-          Seeing that you are from UK, you would have to have good English. There weren't any major mistakes, infact there weren't many mistakes besides that you need to use more capital letters. You need to have capital letters even if you start a sentence with talking marks, but it's okay, I've seen many people do what you do as well. Also, you need to make sure that you proof read things because in some places there is a word missing or an extra word added.

There isn't any major mistakes for me to point out.

24/30 points

Creativity:

-          A classic tale with a modern twist.

6.5/10 points

Description and Title:

-          I think the title fits the story perfectly. Jessica really is the like Cinderella awaiting her Prince Charming.
Your description is short but it reveals all that you really need to know. The one line that reall caught me was:
He had everything while Jessica had nothing
It just made me think about Jessica's life compared to his.
Overall, good description.

8/10 points

Writing style:

-          Easy to follow along. You did well with the different points of views. Many other stories go from different points of views and mostly they aren't needed, but you have only put in what was needed from each person. I can't really judge on the flow because there are only 4 chapters so far but my advice is not to rush too much.

7/10 points

Enjoyment:

-          I really liked this story.  The way you have created the characters are good because, so far, the personalities of each character is different.

8/10 points

 

TOTAL SCORE: 73.5

STAR RATING: 4

 

 

This story puts a mordern twist to one of my favourite all time favourite stories.
This story is really good so far. Make sure you proof read before updating with a new chapter to make sure you have no mistakes in your writing. Other than that, good job and good luck with the rest of the story!

 

Reviewed by _uraqt

 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH _uraqt for the lovely review ^___^