So, I've known this guy ever since I was pretty much born.

We've always been super close, we were practically like brother and sister.

But that was when we were little. When we grew up things kinda changed.

See, he's like two years older than me so once I got into 6th grade he was already an 8th grader. 

Sounds weird right? You're probably thinking.

What the heck??? You liked this guy when you were still a baby and he was about to go to high school?

Yup, pretty much.

But then I had to go and ruin our whole relationship by creating this stupid arguement between us.

He was at first all nice to me and asking me how my day was and etc. Since he had P.E. the smae period as me.

He even ran once with me pulling me by my hand, literally, during a runing exercise once.

But then out of nowhere he just totally shut off. He stopped laughing at my jokes. he stopped talking to me. He didn't even really look at me.

So then I had to get peaved about it. And I started this useless arguement about it.

And so pretty much after that we halted any contact physical, mentally, verbally, and so on. But we always would see each other.

And my friend would always tell me he would tell her that he missed me.

But I never believed her I guess you could say.

It didn't make sense to me why he would worry about me, or even have second thoughts about me.

Not to sound like one of those stereo typical low self esteem girls seeking for compliments, but truly there was tons of other girls HIS AGE that were much more prettier than me.

I don't think that in his standards I even count as pretty probably.

But I let it go, and we never regained our relationship for the next two years.

It turned into one of those kind of relationships where regret would I always get the best of you, and you would end up glancing at him every 5 seconds freaking out in your head assuming he was glancing at you too.

But then you notice he was looking at someonelse, not you.

But then the summer of 9th grade,the grade I have just started, things changed.

I had officially gotten over him seeing that he had moved on, turning into a complete player dating girls left and right.

I was  deciding that whenver I got into high school I was going to join this class leadership, a class he was in.

I swear I didn't plan it.

So I was at his brother's going away party since his brother was going off to college.

I was sitting in their backyard next to my mom, and then he came up from behind me and I kid you not, played with my hair that wasn't in pony tail. Almost it.

After that he walked around us and started talking to me about if I was going to be in leadership, and if so he began telling me ways to get in.

And he was telling me like, "Oh well I can do this and this for you to get in," and such.

So I was pretty much in a state of shock, thinking.

"Is this really happening?"

I was happy that things seemed to be going back to normal, and it was as if my old feelings were rekindeling themselves.

So when I joined leadership I was excited to have fun with him.

But so far ever since I started high school in general he hasn't spoken to me at all, and he still has his player ways that he follows thoroughly.

It makes me just want to rip my hair out, he makes no sense!

You know whenever I read fanfics on here, and the girl is always talking about how much pain she is put through whenever she sees him, cause he'll never know she feels about him. Or just the longing she feels.

I understand how they feel now.

I know why they call crushes, crushes now.

Thanks for reading my nonsense rambiling>.<

*hannako5678*