What life meaning to me anymore?

I want to share to my aff user friend about little bit my life. read it..

Its interesting , believe me...

 

Well, I'm 15years old girl. Soon gonna be 16.

As a teen there a lot we have to through.. Family, study life, friend, and love.  

Skip to my story...  Isnt to cruel I said my life is worst... Maybe...  

I have umma and appa.. One unnie and oppa..  I was the dongsaeng.  

What? Being dongsaeng is the great? Hah! for me not.

Like daily life I feel worst sometimes... My unnie already married so she not live with us. Thats mean I'm the only daughter and my mom.  

I know its my responsibility to do the house work, like washing the dishe and clean the house.. I do that all thing but my mom always complain and mad at me like I do not anything. I really disspointed with my mom attitude

 I'm 15 years girl that always talk back to my parent..  I dont mean to be rude..But... I hate been accused for just small reason.  My mom sometimes curse to me like I was other people in her life. How can I be patient over those curse word.  

None of my sibling ever been slap by her.. Why just me? Why?  I ask my friend if they ever been slap my their mother.. All of them said no. Lucky them..   I remember the second time my mom slap me using a slipper.. The slipper is hard.  Wahh...  Do I let be my mom slap me? No.. She trying to slap me again, but there..brave me push her hand away... The second time was in public place.. Infront of people. Its embarrassing . Right...  

Been shout also shocking me..Like my father...  :(  Its hurt me....    

 

Oh..I want to share you my bad habit..  when I stress.. I always cut my skin using a sharp thing.. I know that stupid..But I really cant control my self... Lucky.. I dont think about cut my wrist or suicide..

  *Dont worry..Thats not my hand..It just example..I never do until my blood turn like that.. *

I put  a little blades back of my phone and my wallet..  

Its not hurt if I cut my arm.. Just its itchy ..Kyaa... Do my parent saw it?  None of them saw.. Weird.. I never hide my arm..   I want to stop this stupid habit..but just I cant really really do it...  

Last night.. I been trauma because of my brother.. I almost been throw by a heavy chair by him..

  *LIKE THIS*

Running man play in 11.50pm.. Before it was 6.30pm.. but the hell it been change to midnight.. So it ended at 1.20.. *My parent are not in home because go to another country*  

My brother home around 12pm.. He saw me still infront of tv. He start to curse all and start to 'stomping' thing around.. *I cant explain how..''   I just keep patient and just try to focusing the running man.. Then the curse start to loud.. I cant... anymore... I said to him.. ''Cant you just been patient.. There were a few minute to end..''  My brother keep curse curse curse and curse... -,-

 I shout to him ''Fine! Eat those tv! You ...''  Then he stand up  ''What the hell you said?!''  He lift the chair the throw to me..but lucky I was in the stair. The chair hit the stairs railing. He curse and talk back to him before I run to my room and lock it.

My brother try to chase me and said ''Out now! You think I dont afraid to punch you! !'' He scream all his lung out... Same as me in the room already cry and shaking in the bed...

I start to call my mom.. and told everything..Like I predict, my mom will blame me.. Okay.. My mom never mad at my brother or shout to him..   I end the call because my mom keep blame me..  

I start to call my boyfriend.. The is..He not even answer because of sleeping..

Why before..he text me 3 in the morning.. I still can realize and wake to reply him because he said he was sick.. -,-  Aish.. Call my Friend? also..Useless...  

I realize... past of this month.. My relationship with him is kinda not stable..I dont know..maybe due his busy ..  

This year. Our school holiday earlier for two month.. Holiday is the best right.. Holiday with family and whatever.. Me? yea.  Wake , bath, take a prayer, and being infront of computer..  -,- My parent has no time to bring me holiday.. :l  

Sad. me...  

 

The end..   Well.. I need to continue my life right.. Well... Hwaiting to myself...

I always make Exo smile as my strength of my life... Yes.. I love them so much even I will never ever saw them infront of my reality...  Know them was seriously miracle to me.. I wish I can thanked them once..even they do not know me..  

 

+There..there..add stories... I read a unnie comment that said her father never satisfied with her gred..Lucky your people who your parent concern about your study..

ME? My parent never ask my homework, my exam result or said goodluck on my big exam..

+When I sick... My parent just ignore me... not even said ''Take a rest..''   While my brother sick.. They give medicine to him...  I also jealous of my sister.. She just sick a little..but her husband ask her to go to clinic.. 

I still remember where I got a head sick for two more week.. Wooohh.. I told them..then they just nod and ignore it....  Also when I throw up because of fever... They mad at me just because I sick... 

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Immafanytastic #1
Well, I don't have this problem in my life so I don't know how to advice you. It's not good that you keep on cutting your hand. Hurting yourself does not mean it will get rid of the pain. I don't have elder siblings like you, I only have younger siblings but I do face problems too. When your siblings or parents cussed at you. Try not to talk back as they are in a fit of anger and you never know if your words will make them even more angrier. Well, my father cussed at me when he was drunk one time, but I laugh it off and told him that he shouldn't scold vulgar and I ran away. Haha!! You may want to try educating them. It is not wrong to talk back, but you should talk to them when they're in a better mood not when they are still pissed with you.
moonpeater #2
Wow you're so young and confident enough to tell your private story about your own family......I feel your pain, but you should be patient and I think you should stop your bad habit n____n
Random_Me #3
Hey...I understand your pain...but you should be patient with your family even you though you can't hold back your words...I'm the oldest girl in my family, but I have two older brothers and one younger sister...but since I'm the oldest girl, my mom expects me to be either clean, cook, or study every second. My mom hates me when I'm ever on the computer because she thinks I'm messing around...it's true but at least I get my work done...sometimes she comes home moody and starts to yell at me for being lazy when I'm doing homework or either resting from chores but the thing is your family needs bonding time to get to know each other feelings...when I explode my feelings to my mother she would calm me down and try to talk to me...because my mother kinda had the same faith as you...whenever my mom was sick her mother wouldn't care for her only her dad...but no offense but your parents shouldn't treat in that kind of way...but maybe how about talking to your sister and ask if your parents ever did the same thing to her...and about watching TV in the middle of the night...it's kinda bad to do that even though I do that too, but I'm trying to change my behavior but being patient is the best thing to do! By the way if there's any problem I'm willing to listen...I hate when people need to say something and they have no where to turn to...:)
Hwaiting!! :)
Staggerymusica #4
Hey ! Hwaiting!
phoenix- #5
Ahh, I can relate with this so much. Whoever you are, fighting! Days get better, just wait a bit longer^^
VanessaAngSuZen #6
That's really sad :( I don't have any siblings and I haven't been cursed at by my parents but I somehow can understand the your pain :| stay strong dont give up and end your life just bcs of ppl who don't appreciate you be strong!!
guitarist811 #7
Hi there, well, I have a little sister and she's only 2. I'm 18 so doing the chores, cleaning the house is also my duty. I'm studying in the university now, and of course it's hard for me to do all things at once. Sometimes, I find it hard to do everything by myself, so I talked with my mom. She agreed to let me take some time to study. But right now, as I read your story, I think you and your mom haven't talked for like forever. Just sit, and talk like mom and daughter. Don't forget to tell her that you love her. We all love our moms cuz they gave birth to us. If they didn't, then we wouldn't be here dreaming about our biases, and idols. :)
Maybe your mom is stressed over work, or something like that.
And remember, every mom loves their children. None of them hates us.

And..... if you think you can do this, then I'd like to suggest you to search for new hobby. Of course, kpop is a part of our life, they make us happy. It's a fact. :)
But when you take a look at other things, they can be whole new world to you.

Sincerely, Gitachan ^^
cutemeatmonster #8
Ur life is the same as mine~
My mom is busy on her honeymoon with my step day
She leaves us alone at home with no food source
miraohhmira #9
I've been in ur shoes before and it still happening to me.. I used to cut my wrist until it bleeds, i still have to do housework, balance between my school life and house life.. I hate doing all this things! I keep asking myself "why does only gurls do all the work?".. And then i realize, there is no use complaining.. I still have to do all tht... I quit cutting my wrist coz it is no used.. Its stupid ! Really! Anyone who think cutting wrist can make u feel good then all i can say is its stupid.. I was stupid once and i dont want people to be like me.. I really regret cutting my wrist! Girl, i feel u, i feel ur dissapointment and depression but bear with it.. Yes! U cant go out like other teenage girls but always remember.. Other people is more unfortunate than u.. Study well, get a better job and then leave tht house! But remember ur parents! They are the one who brought u to this earth, care for u and bring u up.. Maybe not in a better way but it is better than throwing to some orphanage homes.. Good luck my dear! And pls! Stop cutting ur wrist! Distract urself if u ever feel like cutting ur wrist!
b2stbubble #10
Girl, this is a piece of advice from a sister to a sister.
1st of all, i'm the 6th of 7th sibling, 2nd of two sister.

well, of coz, having 4 older brothers, a sister and a little brother isn't easy. my sister and i have 3 years apart.
she went to college when i was 10.

'it's alright, you still have older brothers' well, that..that doesn't mean i could wash my hand.

at age of 10, i need to do all the chores, from cleaning the house, washing dishes, to the point folding those cloths.

i need to do all of that, alone. with no help. AT ALL.
can you imagine, 10 years old girl, doing chores right after she come back from school, balance all those pressure and doing my homework...how's stressful is that?

i still remembered one night, i feel too tired to cook, my eldest brother come home from work and asking "What's for dinner?"
and i said, "Nothing" he curse right on my face, and almost...almost slap me in the face.

and what's worst, when i cry to my mom, she said "next time tell him first.."

to be continue...(i need to go now, i'll continue later)
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