My ing Stupid Life

GUESS WHAT!

Chicken . ( Onew's chicken '>' does that even look like a chicken? o.0)

Okay, moving on. so since no one is going to read this anyways I'm gonna tell you a secret.

I cut myself.

It's not even such a big deal. I only leave 20 cuts at one time. and they're not that bad.

I don't know why I cut though. ;-;

I think I just want people to notice me, but I don't want to do it in a way that people will hate me for.

People have made fun of me for as long as I can remember. (I'm 13 in case you were wondering...which you probably weren't)

And to add fuel to the fire my parents don't like me.

ohhh big shocker.

Doesn't that sound alot like Hyun Jae in A Game of Favorites?

no duh. she's based off of me.

I wish I was her. I wish I lived in Seol, spoke Korean, and was brave enough to stand up for myself.

I've tried standing up for myself. Many times. But everytime my parents laugh at me and say,

" If you report us would they listen to you? Where would you go live? What would happen to your sisters? Wouldn't it become all your fault?"

 

Anyways, if you are reading this please tell me, what should I do? by the way, I'm sure favoritism isn't a crime...I wish it was though. What kpop songs are good for listening to when you have a broken heart? I really like listening to FACE by NU'est.

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Daesungoppa4ever #1
I know how it feels, I've been through what you have and I still am going through this too. You're one year older than me. I know it's hard being the hated in the family. Biasness shows towards my younger brothers. I used to think they didn't love me and I cried myself to sleep every night. I used to smile like everything was alright, I used to apologise even if it wasn't my fault. To my classmates, I was a girl living a perfect life, to my parents they thought I was okay with all the mean things they say about me. I know cutting feels great but have you ever thought of the consequences? You cut to push the pain of the world further from you, but what will you tell your children when they go up to you and ask about your scars? I know 20 doesn't seem like much, but it is a lot. You could die. I know that doesn't seem like a bad idea but I know, the storm will clear up, it only depends on how long. Please don't cut, people care. I care. They say god gives the hardest battles to the strongest soldiers and I'm sure you are one of the strongest soldiers god has in this world. Stay strong.
Won-Mi #2
I'm so sorry. I really am. God I wish I could hug u. Please don't cut yourself, my friend does and when I see the scars-my heart breaks.
I know how you feel about your parents. Mine were the same way. My mom is trying to be more understanding but my dad is still pretty much a jerk. They say the same thing to me, they r like "do u think Foster parents will be better?! Then leave and get the hel out!" I used to cry about it. But I was tired if crying and being scared of them, so I decided one day that I would be strong and not cry. That no matter how bad things get I would be tough and strong and endure it.
You shouldn't have to feel this at such a young age, and for that I'm sorry.
Please don't say "only 20 cuts" that's 20 more than you should have and 20 more than u deserve.
Don't do this to yourself. You deserve better and I'm sorry that this is how you deal with your problems.
I know I sound retarded just saying sorry and giving pity. I'm not giving pity, I just- I can't even think of any words to say.
I know we don't know each other but I want to be your friend who u can trust and talk to. Talk to me if u can't talk to anyone else. Talk to me instead of cutting for yourself.
As for your parents, you have to build a wall around your heart. Meaning if that's where they hurt you, let it go and be numb to it. Be strong. Not the best advice I admit, but it helps. I'm doing it and words can't hurt me any more.
For the songs:
That XX- g dragon
You and I -park bom
one for me - shinee
only look at me - taeyang
Jojo- shinee
it's you - super junior
The name - knew
Don't cry - park bom
Romantic - shinee
Baby don't cry - daesung
severely - ft island
Sad song - baek a Tsongas
Quasimodo- shinee
You - shinee
I will probably think of more later. Feel free to pm me any time u need to talk.
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