no more tomorrow
My heart is so frozen that my lips get cracked 

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Eyes were fluttered shut. Hands covering ears, trying to hold back the loud scream. A soft sob
filling the empty room. Alone. Again he was all alone. A hand wiped the lonely tear rolling down his
cheek. Memories of the past coming back. Memories he tried to push away. Lock up in a locker 
and throw the key away. But unfortunately, now he lost everything again. Were his memories the
only thing that kept coming back. As a soft whisper entering his head. Messing with his mind
Making him going trough everything again. Starting with the darkness..

My insides are empty and my smile is dead
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Love. Something he had never known. Not from his father, not from his mother. From no one.
No one in his family cared. Not even a little bit about him. Being nothing more than an object
Something they could use, only because they weren't able to made their own dreams come true.
Never gentle touches, never soft spoken words, hug or kisses. The only time he was touched was
when he did something wrong and his father smacked him. Hit him until he out.
Awakening in his own blood on the cold ground from the cellar. Yes he was trained. Prepared
to be in the games. They made a monster of him. Hitting all the softness out of him until there
was nothing more left than a ice cold monster. Avoiding the smallest bit of contact with other 
people he prepared. From the very first beginning he could remember until he was 16. The 
first time he entered the games. Where he had to kill. Where he had to win. Only to make his
parents proud for once. Just for once in his life. Even if it meant he would die. He would make
them proud.

The first time killing someone. He didn't even feel something. All his emotions were switched off
There was only one thing he could think about. Winning. At every cost he would win the games.
That he met people he would care about, who would have ever thought that? How was it possible
that someone could enter his heart. Make him believe there was more then killing and the games
That there was love, warmth and friendship. Yes he fell in love. In love with a perfect girl. She 
showed him that there were other ways. That he could be happy. She made him believe he had
a future. One he could fill in like his own desire. They would have built up their live together.
Wasn't it that he became friends with a male tribute. Someone who fell in love with Chanyeol as wel
Someone who was jealous of the relationship he had with the girl. That jealous that he killed her.
In front of Chanyeol's eyes in the most horrible way. Blood. Blood has been everywhere. And it 
didn't took him long or he killed his own best friend. killed. Someone who had been able to find acces
to his heart. To tell him what love was.

But now he knew it, he wished he never fell in love. Never. It had made him weak. Hurt him so bad.
Made him go in an insane state. He still didn't know how, but he managed to win the games. Coming out
of it like a complete different person. Promising himself that he would never fall in love again. That
he would destroy everything connected to love. He would avoid it, destroy it, kill it. Every little bit
of it. And so he became a gamemaker. Believing that the Capitol was right. Of course, who else did
he need to believe? No one could be trusted. He didn't even trust himself.  And so he started to 
become a complete different person. Learning to use his charms to distract people. Tell them lies
Using people, hurting people. His life as gamemaker seemed great. Finally able to hurt people. Giving
him the feeling of satisfaction. Because he had felt so much pain as well. Then they would feel it as
well. Making the tributes life's hell. It became his job. And he enjoyed it. Distracting him from his
own misarble life. Always smiling. Keeping up the nice facade. This nice one man show. And everyone
Believed it. That was the funny thing. Over the years there was almost no one who could tell it when
he was lying or not. No one except her. And so the story started over again. Finding someone who
came close to his heart. And after that, his heart was crushed again. Leaving him in complete 
darkness. Again.

Breathing doesn't mean you live
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