Needed somewhere to vent and so here's my first post. :/

WARNING: FULL PERSONAL RANTING Suddenly ing depressed at everything. I wanna escape reality for a while. How can I do so? #stressasateen like a emo only. like so sad and wanna cry myself to sleep. no mood to do anything. thinking about what will happen in the future (like tmr) and what i'm gonna do about it. i wanna get away from every single thing on my mind right now. normally i come to aff to escape for a while but now, i dont feel like doing anything at all, i just wanna go some where where there is no one else, nothing to think about, to stress over. a peaceful place without any worries. i think its because i din have enough sleep for the past few months ever since i started working. i like my job. i really do, just that i would love it if i din have assignments on my mind all the time. its just like what i am studying right now, i love it, just that it would be better if there isn't a need to meet deadlines a few times a month. i'm left with 2 months more brfore i graduate with my diploma. i just hope and pray that i can go through these remaining weeks healthily. i have a cough that has been haunting me for more than a month now. like i always tell my whiny guy friend, my personal logo is: SUFFER NOW, ENJOY LATER. i feel like Later is so near yet so far to go through. the suffering is so intense. i swear just now, while looking at Hyukkie's face on my desktop wallpaper, i was thinking: I feel like giving up kpop right now. then i thought: how am i gonna stop thinking about hyukjae and super junior? lol! who are you kidding girl? haixxxx~~~ alright im done ranting. thank you for reading, that is if you are ((:

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charrellx #1 Dec 4, 2012 10:38:27

I hope you feel okay soon. i was depressed and lonely and suicidal for three years before, i was seriousy always on the edge of killing my self and crying myself to sleep every night but as dumb as it might sound, kpop really kept me going on. But it didnt completely get me out of my depression, it was just like a moment of happiness, the thing that got me out of it 90% was what i called a "soul cleansing experience" what i did was take time for myself, JUST myself (for about three months) and eventually found my way. By taking time to myself i mean, cutting contact with most people, people who dont really matter to you and people who make you feel bad about yourself, not only bullies, just people who make you feel bad by being around them. Take time at home and away from everyone else and find the things that keep you happy. Not just watch kpop videos though x)))) (explore other kpop groups if you havent) find something that truly makes you feel happy and content, for example for me, my happy place became writing and doing pilates, then i found a job at a safe house and then everything sort of started to make sense to me and i just felt really happy. But it will only truly help if you take time /just for yourself/ no one else no siblings or parents or friends or boyfriends (or girlfriends if you swing that way) and then you'll see a great change. I hope what im saying helps you somehow, remember you can rant wherever youwant how ever much you want. You can also talk to me when ever you want! Take care sweetie~