I was watching different MVs of Super Junior. When GOM player played Miracle MV I can't help myself to tear up.

 

Last June the 30th, my grandma died. Before she passed away, she was at the hospital for almost two weeks. That time, I never had the chance to visit her or even to just dropped by to see her for a few minutes. I always tell my relatives that I have work, it wasn't a lie technically, been working for 16  hours a day. As for my rest day, of course I rest literally sleeping for hours and hours. 

 

The 3 days before she died, the doctors said that she's doing okay, though there are signs that my cousin (my adopted cousin who took care of my grandfather and his sister, and yes though he's adopted we treat her as our own blood) saw showing that she wanted to rest and be her departed husband and brother. 

 

Her younger brother in Canada, died 2 weeks before her. The body Lolo (grandpa) Juan (my grandma's younger brother) or Johnny as he's known in Canada was brought back in the here 2 days before she died. 

 

On her last day, she was calling Eyen (her husband) and Juan (her brother) who are both dead. That time, we received a call from my cousin and my uncle telling my mom that grandma was in a critical condition and wants to see all of her children. I was feeling uneasy when I heard about the news. 

 

I was watching Super Junior MVs that time. When my mom came back, I was listening to Miracle, then she spoke "Wala na si Nanay." (Mom is gone.) I can't can't help myself to feel guilty. Not visiting her when she was at the hospital, not talking to her whenever I visit my cousins at her home. Whenever I go to our ancestral house (which is her home) I just walk passed her or I'll just show myself then walk away.

 

It's just heartbreaking to receive a painful news while singing to a beautiful song. But we all know that she's ready to leave us. Others say that she just hang a little longer to wait for the arrival of her brother's body before leaving us, which is true. 

 

I hope you guys don't make the same mistake that I did. Until now I feel very guilty, not only that I wasn't able to visit her when she's still alive but also not being able to visit her at her grave.

 

I promise that I'll find time to always visit them at their grave.

 

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*gaaaaahhhhh!!!! I'm crying right now!!!*

 

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You’ve changed my ordinary life (a holiday)

And all the people in the world look happy (I wanna thank you baby)

 

To my dearest grandma, grandpa in heaven, WE LOVE YOU! WE MISS YOU! 

Please watch over us! :)