Author: inspiritb2uty

Story Title; Goodbye, My Alien Bunny

Requested for; Review

Reviewer; ToneHarmonic

Title [4/5]
The title was unique and it fit the story pretty well. My only complaint is that the title makes it seem that she's saying goodybe more to the bunny than Yongguk.

Foreword / Description [10 /10]
To be honest, I really liked your description. It was poetic and sweet with hints of the angst that had yet to come. I had no problem with your Foreword either. It was a good introduction to the story.

Total [14/15]

Originality [25/30]
Your story is original in most ways, though there are also some cliche elements in there.

Storyline [25/30]
I have never read a story with an alien bunny involved, so that's pretty original. However, I have read stories about someone disappearing without notice, leaving only some kind of note behind to explain everything. So, can you see where I'm getting at? Your storyline is original to an extent, but like I said, some cliche elements can be found.

Grammar / Spelling [18/20]
There were no major mistakes, only a few misspellings here and there. It would be best if you proofread your story before you posted it to avoid these trivial mistakes.

Speed / Flow of Story [15/15]
Not too fast or too slow.

Total [83/95]

Writing Style / Neatness [15/15]
Your writing style is neat and readable and it was sequenced very well.

Characterization/ Development [10/15]
For Hyerin's character, there wasn't much that we could tell about her. Well, apart from the fact that her coping abilities are a bit slow, but apart from that, she has very little distinguishing characteristics. Such as, she's nice and kind; maybe even a little childish, but really, that was it. It was most likely because your one-shot centered around her feelings for Yongguk and because it was a one-shot.

Yongguk however, had a defined personality because it was described by Hyerin. He's a very sweet gentleman. No complaints here.

Overall Enjoyment / Captivity [7/10]
Honestly, I was expecting full on angst (even though there was no 'angst' tag). However, even if it wasn't as angsty as I thought it would be, I think that everything worked out fine because you managed to pull everything together well.


Total [129/150] [(86)/100]