Birthday Edition:

Count down to my last year oh ‘Teenager’

Good birthday people :D Hehe

I have no idea why I suddenly want to write something on my birthday. Strange isn’t it? So I’m writing , well, technically typing it as I’m chatting with my momma through bbm.  Well, it’s not officially my birthday yet, it’s still in a couple hours. So no, I’m not 19th yet.

Speaking of 19, as we know, it’s the last number on the ‘teen’ list. Because after 19 (nineteen) , there will be 20 (twenty) , 30 (thirty), 40 (forty), there is no number with ‘teen’ as the ending. So becoming a 19 years old girl also make me getting closer to the end of my ‘teenager’ life. Let me make it clear, it will be the last year I become a teenager.

As usual, I still hating birthday. I know, a lot of people are getting excited about their birthday, lets say, some of my bestfriends are. But for me, nuh-uh. It’s not that I’m not thankful that I actually still alive untill now, no, I’m actually greatful about that. But what I hate about birthday is, yeah, here comes the list , aging, responsibility, the compulsion of thinking serious things, leaving my childhood, adult life, now become a teenager anymore, an afraid feeling that no one remember my birthday, a necessity of treating everyone, and the list goes on and on.

But I’m writing this not to mention or whining how I hate birthday, no. I write this to clear out some things on my mind, to get a new mind set, to think about tomorrow, or the day after or even the future. To get a better mindset.

So what I want to do? Or what I want to achieve in life? Those are the questions that I dont even know how to answer properly before. Because I thought that ‘hell, I’m still 18, I still have a long way ahead of me, no worries’ and bla bla bla. But now, I want to take everything more seriously. I have to realize that everything in this life is for real. You are actually an becoming an adult. You got , you fix it. That’s it.

No one, I said, no one will actually care. You can’t always count on your parents or siblings or family or friends to deal with your problem. You , well in this case, me, I have to deal with it alone. I can’t , no , I won’t say ‘Help me, I can’t do that, I dont want to...bla bla bla’ , NO.

I want to personally train my self to be a good adult. To be a woman. So when I officially 20, I could be completely have a mindset of a woman. I still have a year of ‘training’, so I will cherish my last ‘teen’ year, to live as girl and try to think as a woman. So when someone say what I want, what I want to do, what I want to be, I can answer it without any doubt anymore.

HELL YEAAAAAAH

Let’s counting on my born day!

26/10/2012

AiAddict –50% girl, 30% woman, 20% human.