So, like, remember my blog from a few days (or weeks?) ago on irony? Basically, my sister got her packet back from the teacher...and I decided to share some more because they're just SO AWESOME. 

W I S H F U L  T H I N K I N G

Bob had all he wanted. And he still had one wish left.

"I can't decide. Can I use it later?" he asked.

"You da boss. I'm just the genie."

"Cool."

As he walked down the streets, he searched for a tune to express his joyous feelings.

"...Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener -"

~Joshua Hanes

L I K E  T W O  S H I P S

He entered the elevator.

"Ground floor, please." he said.

He sounds nice, she thought, but he wouldn't notice me.

He noticed. He noticed her standing there, eyes straight ahead. But he didn't blame her.

Nice perfume, he thought as they parted, he lightly his disfigured face, she cuonting the steps to the waiting van.

~Chris Macy

R I G H T S  O F  P A S S A G E

He'd known her since she was very young. She was the most beautiful girl in the world, and he loved her deeply. At one time he had been her idol. Now he was losing her to another man.

Eyes glistening, he kissed her cheek softly, then smiled as he gave her away to the groom.

~Mark Turner

G R A N D M A  M E E T S  T H E  A X  M U R D E R E R

The crazed ax-murderer approached the house. Having ravaged the entire neighborhood, his sack of booty was almost full.

Alone inside, the old woman sat knitting. Th murderer raised his blood-stained ax and rang the porch doorbell. Slowly, she opened the door and peered into his face.

"Trick or treat!" the little boy shouted.

~Diane Elliott

I N  T H E  G A R D E N

Standing there in the garden, she saw him running toward her.

"Tina! My flower! The love of my life!"

He'd said it at last.

"Oh, Tom!"

"Tina, my flower!"

"Oh, Tom! I love you, too!"

Tom reached her, knelt down, and quickly pushed her aside.

"My flower! You were standing on my prize-winning rose!"

~Hope A. Torres

Hope ya'll enjoyed it~ ^^