Title [8/10]:

Your title is great, and it matches the story.

Description/Foreword [8/10]:

The first part of your description is well placed, but the second part should be used as your foreword. It makes more sense.

Your description is interesting, but it doesn’t show much about your story. It makes us readers interested, not knowing about they should expect. The text after is also interesting.

Since you put all in the description, you have no foreword.

 Originality [7/10]

This story is different from the ones I read before. You were able to give your own touch to the story.

Plot/Writing [20/22]:

Your plot is so sad. I thought she was going to be happy after all she went through with her step-dad. What a mean author you are, doing so painful things to your characters…!

Your plot was great, there was just a small flaw between the chapter 5 and 6 – there’s no sequence between chapters, it’s too abrupt. I even thought it was a dream, before I realized it wasn’t.

I liked your way of writing. It was addicting and nice, the only thing to improve is to be careful with verb tenses.

Characters [6/10]:

Jongup was a surprise for me. When I read your description I thought he was the one you were talking about, but I forgot it because of the step dad scenes. I wasn’t expecting such a turn of events. What kind of person can have such a caring and awful side at the same time? How could he change so much?

I liked when you saw things from his perspective, it seemed more real. I wish you did it more often, like that you’d make the scene more deep… you’d make us understand and study about what brings a man to do something like domestic violence… I wish you portrayed that part a bit more.

I really liked the main girl – whose name I don’t know or forgot -, and pitied what happened to her. What a mean author-nim!

Your characters weren’t deep, but they were understable.

Grammar/Vocabulary [20/23]

Your grammar is overall okay, but you have some small mistakes:

. He was clearly taken aback by my action but nonetheless, he welcomed me by snaking his arms around my waste waist, my back, hoping that it would at least help me to feel better, and it did. – That was a cute typo!

- What would will his husband do to her? What about my study? Would I even be able to smile again? – Since you were writing everything using the past tense, the present didn’t make sense.

- Right at that moment, I felt him ruffleding the tip of my head softly, and then he rested his hand on my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “If you wanna cry, then cry”

You have a great vocabulary! There’s nothing more to point out!

How much I enjoyed your story / Overall Excitement [8/10]

Your story made me interested. I was so excited to read it that I opened Microsoft Word and started preparing the review.

Your story was really enjoyable, but on the middle you added some sudden actions I wasn’t expecting. You rushed things, actually. One more chapter in the middle to explain a bit more wouldn’t hurt anyone, you know?

Extra [4/5]:

Good poster and background.

You have no chapter titles, that’s a pity. The chapter’s organization is  pretty neat, and its length regular.

Bonus [2/10]

 

[Points: 83-100]