Honestly, I think I'm kinda obsessed. 
 

NO IT IS NOT ABOUT KPOP if you were wondering. 

But I feel I'm kinda being obsessive, over my feelings, ya know? 
Something like that. 
I used to be able to control myself, even when I like someone (the past two crushes of my life), I was still able to control myself, to not freak out and just be myself (not the crazy-self, lol), but this time, I wonder if I still have control over my thoughts. 
I mean, suddenly, if I was staring into a gaze, I would no longer think of other stuff but stuff related to crushes. Stuff that's related to my actions, what I did today, how I was going to see it (I'm calling him IT I DONT CARE), and it all. 

It stopped last week, but now here it is again. What is this called and how can I stop it? 
I want to know that. HOW CAN I STOP IT?!

I freaking do not want this feeling at all. I don't like liking it, I don't want to actually like it, I want to just not like someone and get through with my life. 
I don't want to have these kind of feelings, I don't want to think about it, but somehow, even when I try the hardest not to, I always end up thinking about it. I don't want to, I don't want to. 
But somehow, someway, I always do. I DONT LIKE THINKING ABOUT IT

And people would say, then don't! 

But I can't. I don't know why I can't, I just want to stop all these thinking on it.

Every method I've learned to work didn't work, and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm going crazier by the day, and somehow, I'll always look forward to seeing it even when I don't want to. And it will appear the time I don't want it to come, or the time that I didn't expected it at all. 

I don't want to see it, but I can't cause my eyes would just travel around and look for it, even when I can't find it, I would still search for it, or maybe think of the possibilities on where it has gone. I don't want to anymore. 

I don't like this feeling I don't like this feeling I don't like this feeling. 

Can someone please help me solve this? ;___; 
I don't want to go crazy.