Feel free to ignore this post if you want. I just needed a place to write this down. Writing is the only creative outlet I have right now.

It all started in Friday afternoon. I had finished studying and decided to dance in my room. The song was Wrong Number. Do you guys know the part where Jaejoong dances to his rap? He sort of bends his knee forward and does a pop and lock step as he moves front and back? Well I was trying to imitate that. But I did a fatal wrong move. My whole body went towards the right but my knee went the wrong way.

I literally felt the bone and the knee cap attached pop out as I fell to the ground. There is a part in the movie Black Swan where Natalie Portman dreams that her legs have snapped into half. I felt the same way. That was the first thought that came into my head. I couldn't move. I seriously thought I would die there. And the unfortunate part was my room was locked and most of the people in my hostel wing were asleep. Even if I called for help, no one would be able to come.

I tried a really couragious thing after that. I used my bed post to lift myself up. I knew there were slim chances of being able to move around but I also knew that I had to drag myself to my door if need be and get someone, anyone to come. That's when the miracle happened. Something popped back into place. I managed to get to the door and scream for help. Luckily the people in my neighbouring were not asleep and came to help me instantly.

I really love my friends you know. They helped me out when I was in such deep trouble. I took a couple of painkillers (two of them) and then one of them bandaged my knee for me. They helped me to the Health Care Centre located on campus. The doctor there told me that there was a definite injury to my knee and that I would have to go and get it checked by a proper orthopaedic surgeon.

I was crying before, you know. You can't expect me not to. I had just dislocated my knee for god's sake. The first thought that came into my head was that I would die alone in my room. No one would know. And the second as I limped to my door, that this was the end of my dancing. I had done that move a thousand times. What went wrong now? My life did not flash before my eyes. Nor did I realise I was deeply in love with someone or anything like that. All I could think about was the pain and when it will end.

Eventhough I had people around me who helped me a lot, I could only think of Mom and Dad. Yeah I'm attached. I think that's a very good thing. So eventhough I was writhing and crying in pain, I called Mom up. But she couldn't pick up the phone. So I called Dad. I couldn't even speak when he picked up. All I said was "Papa... Knee... Disloca...". Do you know how amazing my Dad is? He understood everything. He calmed me down and told me what to do. He tracked down Mom, booked her a flight and got her to my college. All I could do meanwhile was cry.

So Mom gets a flight at six thirty. This happened at round three. We were at the hospital by four. My friends brought me there. We got a few X rays done and the doctor had a good look at them. I was so scared. I couldn't even open my mouth to ask him what was wrong. Then he told me that the bones were still in place (by some miracle) and there was only a tear in the muscle that connected my thigh bone to my lower legs. I need bed rest for four to five days and that I should heal in minimum two weeks. At around five, I called my Mom and Dad both up to give them the good news. I would survive. I calmed down. My friends made sure I wouldn't cry again. Although I was pretty sure I would start again when Mom arrived. I was sure of that.

Can I kill a few doctors now that I'm at this? There is this idiot who stops me in the middle when I am going to get an X-ray done and decides to conveniently chat up another one in the process about my case. WHAT THE HELL YOU ? IS THIS HOW YOU ING TREAT A PATIENT WHO IS IN BLOODY PAIN AND SURVIVING ON HALF PAINKILLERS? And then the bastard has the nerve to ask me why I am uncomfortable. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU BLOODY IDIOT? And people wonder why I don't like them apples.

I managed to get back to my hostel room and fell asleep from exhaustion. Then I woke up to my mother my hair. That was the best feeling in the world. All my pain was forgotten. For a moment I knew everything was going to be alright. I think I instantly healed some percent of it, just by her being there. She was followed by my warden who gave her the okay to bring me home, which is where I am now. I'm going to the doctor again tomorrow (All this happened on Friday and today is Saturday when I am writing this down), to get a final opinion on the whole thing. Although some part of me is sure that things will be okay.

Normally I dont write about such things here. I never believed in sharing something so personal. But this incident was life changing. It's not easy but I still wanted to write it down. It feels better now that I have gotten it off my chest. I couldn't sleep last night because all I could think about when I closed my eye is the snapping of my knee and its near dislocation. I haven't tried sleeping yet. I can only pray that I'm so exhausted I won't dream. And if I do, then God please let me dream about nice things.

Things like kpop and my ultimate bias and a nice date together or my next story idea or about how I don't have to write my exams on Monday. I'm determined to look past the incident and look positively at life again. Know how Tae Joon said he wouldn't high jump again after his ankle injury in To The Beautiful You? I think I know how he felt. I swear I will never joke about such a thing again. Never.