Today is the 8th of September..

I did wait for this date to come to greet someone a Happy 4th Monthsary in an RP I was in. Though it's just a little monthsary, It kinda mean a lot to me.

For that person,

I know that person is not here to read this. I kinda knew that the person unfriended me here a long time ago. I was afraid to ask why so I just stay quiet. We end everything on the 20th August. Yeah, I did turn all hopeless and all. But with my friends supporting, I thought that I might forget it sooner. And It actually did. Unfortunately, three days before 8/9, Everything reminds me of him.

I know that my friends were disappointed by my actions and I'm really sorry.. IDK if I can actually do it. I left a lot of people, I betray them and unknowingly being harsh to all the people around me.

I am really sorry and I know some of my RP friends might know who I am talking about. So, I am here to express what I am thinking all this long. I decided to quit all RPs and will sometimes go to AFF for replying PMs and Walls. I might not be active as before, I need to focus on my studies. Recently getting credits on 4 subjects. All I need is now 4 more subjects to get credit and I will then go to college.

I am glad to actually join RPs and meet lots of people there. But I'm deciding to end it all here.

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I may be cheerful in front of you people, but many thoughts appear in my mind

Do they really care?

Are those words real?

Am I being pranked?

Why do I have to face all this?

Should I just stay silent as before?

Am I needed?

Even those words are like attention seekers, It's not. Why?

I don't trust people and I don't want to. I did want it but I lose it.

I don't believe in Best friends and I don't believe in endless promises.

Promises can be broken apart due to a small thing.

People that are very close to you won't be there for you forever.

believe me, I have overcome this many times.

I lost my best brother. He was my best friend when I was a kid. But unfortunately, he passed away.

I keep on saying that I have a best friend. We were close for 6 years but she betrayed me over some useless rumors.

I was always being called as the useless kid and the girl that always be the class' supplier, the class' bank..

I know that some people suffer more than me, but I just want to express it.

Therefore, I am going to prove to them that I am no longer useless. I proved to them about me being a helpful person already.. Now I need to prove to them that I can be trusted.

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what else..

oh yeah, I spilled acid on my left arm just now during chemistry class. It's okay, tho. I still live.

Lastly, my words are:

Happy 4th Monthsary to "strawberry" and I'm sorry that I couldn't fulfill your wishes and our dream.

I'm sorry for appearing in the first place, I'm sorry for all my stupid actions and I'm sorry for still thinking about all the things that you want me to forget.

Thank you..