Author: kpoplistener

Story Title; Aish! That Jung Daehyun!

Requested for; Review

Reviewer; ToneHarmonic

Title [5/5]
The title was interesting. It made me want to know what exactly Daehyun did.

Foreword / Description [7/10]
The description was fine. It didn't show too much of the plot and it pulled the reader in. However, the foreword bothered me since I believe forewords are where the readers get a 'sneak peek' at your work.

Total [12/15]


Originality [18/30]
To be honest, the plot isn't that original. The whole 'girl-lives-with-idol-group' scenario has been used way too many times on AFF. However, I still give you marks for challenging a cliche story plot.

Storyline [20/30]
Like what I said about originality, the storyline is quite cliche. I'm sorry if this is rude but I could practically tell how the entire story would work out without even looking at the first chapter. Just by reading the title and foreword, I could tell that the girl will end up being forced against her will to live with certain idols that she doesn't like. I could also tell that Namjoo and Daehyun would dislike each other at first, but end up slowly (very slowly, mind you) falling for the other. However, even thought it is a bit cliche, I like that it has a lot of humor.

Grammar / Spelling [19/20]
There were only minor spelling and grammar mistakes here and there. None were too major, and I think you can learn from on your own.

Speed / Flow of Story [15/15]
The flow was fine to me. It wasn't too fast or too slow. Full marks.

Total [72/95]

Writing Style / Neatness [15/15]
Full marks. Your writing style is neat and can be read clearly. Also, it is definitely suited to comedy.

Characterization/ Development [13/15]

Namjoo: I like that Namjoo is a relatable character. Well, apart from the fact that she has poison swords and stuff...But, that aside, I'm glad that she has her ups and downs like a regular person. I'm really happy that she wasn't one of those 'Mary-Sues'. She's a strong girl that has more to her than meets the eye, but she's true to herself no matter what.

Daehyun: He...Sort of confuses me.Well, the way he acts towards Namjoo, basically. One minute he's: 'You're annoying, I don't like you', the next 'I am attracted to you in ways I can't explain' and then finally 'I am forever a and awkward turtle'. He just has so many characteristics that it confuses me. It's not bad that he has different characteristics, but you have to be careful and make sure that there is one solid personality he sticks to.


Overall Enjoyment / Captivity [8/10]
At first I wasn't very captivated by this, because I'm not really into the whole girl-lives-with-idol scenario. However, I ended up enjoying it once Lee Sarang came into the picture. I was practically wondering 'What's Namjoo going to do now?'. I'm glad I decided to read on. So good job.

Total [120/150] [(80)/100]

Notes from the Reviewer:
All in all, your story is good. It's quite cliche in the beginning, but that was expected considering the storyplot. However, I'm happy that you managed to steer clear of many of the cliche characters and scenarios that are often seen in stories with the same plot as yours. Always have the humor because that's what made me really enjoy the story the most. Also, please keep your OC (Namjoo) the same because I like how she isn't a typical Mary-Sue. Grammar-wise, there aren't many problems but I think you should proofread your chapters before you post them, just incase there are a few corrections that need to be made.