Today, I woke up to a piece of news that caused me to feel strange - nostalgic, maybe? Or is it jealousy? I've been thinking about it for a wihle now, and frankly, I still don't really know. Anyway, I woke up to my dad asking me for an old classmate's name, one that I used to compete with in dozens of contests. Reluctantly, I gave him the boy's name, and the look in his eyes gave it away before he could even speak some more.

That boy had one another international contest and made it onto the news. As usual.

Naturally, it got me thinking. I checked my old schoolmates' facebook accounts and I was met with the usual "Congratulations on the nationwide contest!" "You won, again? Amazing!" and "Goodluck on the next one!"

I have to admit. I'm seriously proud of being able to say that I once competed with these people. That I was once their main rival. That I used to beat them in everything. That I used to live in that kind of world. Honestly, I'm proud of that fact. However, now I feel like I'm being left behind.

I understand that my parents brought me to this place is due to the better environment. I could have a better chance here at a bright future. But one thing that I quickly realized here is: education isn't the main priority. And we have to learn to match ourselves to their level in order to keep up with the status quo. And as grateful as I am for everything, I'm also disappointed.

I wish that I stayed. I wish that I also got to go to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, China, South Korea, wherever, the way they do. All these familiar names winning awards in the "2012 Asian Debate Championship" or "2012 Asia International Mathematics Olympiad" and being in the newspapers. I start to regret a lot of things.

Several years ago, I competed in all sorts of academic contests. I spent summers in math institutes while studying piano, vocals, taekwondo & swimming, and I had a live-in tutor that followed me around everywhere with flash cards. I did mental math like crazy and fell asleep on books. The number of people that said they were sorry for me were too many to count. However, I was having fun.

It was fun going to several different places, even if I had to do math all hours of every day. It was fun living with different people, playing games all night, even if I had to learn all sorts of new formulas the next day. It was fun meeting new people, and learning things that people five years older than me were struggling with. I loved it.

Now, I live in a different world. Not speaking location-wise, but.. how do you say it? I barely study anymore. I go out, listen to music, crush on boys. I'm a typical teenager living in a Western world. It's insane, thinking about it, really. However, I'm still having fun.

In this setting, I fall asleep to writing stories. I spend my days studying different cultures and going to the gym to exercise. My nights are no longer spent making the most outrageous projects, but watching dramas while obsessive compulsively drinking tea (my best friend got me addicted to green tea -______- LOL). But I'm still having fun.

On the contrary, I can't help but keep on thinking. I've been living in this world for over 4 years already, and it won't be long before I'll have to move on. I only have 2 years left until I graduate, and I know that once I move onto university, I'll be living in another world once again. But at least this time, I have an idea on what's coming up.

In two years, I'll be studying in another place. I'll be living a different life and meeting new people. I'll be studying my favourite things and adapting to the new environment. Later on, I'll be doing my best to leave an impression on people by helping them as a sincere friend, and not just as a profession. It sounds fun.

Sometimes, I feel sad knowing that I'll have to leave this way of life I have now. At other times, I feel excited for the new adventures that are coming up. However, right now, even if I do enjoy my calm, safe world, I do often wish that I never left my competing life. I mean, did my parents really think that I couldn't handle the tough problems of a third-world country? Mind them, those kids whose names they're reading could've had my name along with theirs if they never uprooted my ties and moved me some place else.  Nevertheless, what's gone is gone. And I sure am no longer in any shape to compete anymore.

I guess it's just jealousy? They get to fly around to different countries, and meet all sorts of new people, and study in rich schools, while I'm stuck here, studying in an okay school whose vice-principal's biggest concern is "stolen lockers".

I miss the huge projects. The presentations that everybody met up and worked hard for. The choreographed dances during festivals and the songs sang, and the school spirit.

The best school spirit anyone will find around here is the school colours in face paint while people get ready for a not-so-enthusiastic spirit week. I just miss the loud cheers, colourful flags and wide get-togethers.

But it won't be long till I move on, I guess. That's what life is about after all. All I know is, I miss the past but they made fun memories that I can look back on. I'm excited for the future, in where I can make more of those fun memories. And currently, I'm appreciating the present, because after all, it's a gift.

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