So, I'm still sitting here on the comp, while my mom and sis are at praise night at church. I should've gone with them, but...I stopped myself. So I thought I should at least make some tribute to all the blessings He has given me and my family...

On Friday night, rather than doing service, the high school ministry divided into groups around the block to talk to the homeless.

There were lots of people around, actually; I was very pleasantly surprised. At first I had to admit I was really nervous, and I was really reluctant to step out of the church. Part of me even regretted going to church that night; that's how severe it was. So I prayed to Him, asking Him to give me and all of us courage and strength and to pour us down with the Holy Spirit; that we may just feel His presence as we go out there.

They laid out a lot of ground rules for us, especially for us girls. Like, to not wear 'booty-shorty' next time [haha, I love the girl teacher who said that ^^] and to not offend them, but respect where they are and don't make your discomfort obvious. Then the praise leader and the girl ^ teacher gave us short testimonies to prepare us.

Then, we headed off.

Junior girls [the section I'm in] and sophomore guys were bunched together, and for a while we prayed before heading out, leaving all of our belongings behind. My best friend was really sleepy, but I pulled her along anyway and we all stepped out into the breezy night air. It was still rather humid and hot; these days, Los Angeles is like an oven. Yet, the night air was clear and crisp. Shrugging off my cardigan, I headed out slowly with my group's T.A., my best friend, and another friend who only comes out on Fridays. Along with those three, there were overall four to five other girls my grade and two guy sunbaes. The groups differed due to the amount of those we chose to talk to, you see, for the police had recently kicked out a lot of them. May God bless and protect them.

All in all, we only talked to about four people.

First of them, I was really awkward around, and so were the other girls. Just the T.A. and the guy sunbaes talked animatedly while we kind of lingered behind in the darkness, occasionally smiling and laughing. I didn't like it, but I didn't know how to bring myself forward. Then I realized just how powerful emotions can be, to be honestly. The girl teacher, in her testimony, reflected on when she was in our own awkward position, and another girl, without any hesitation, spoke to them without regarding any of her surroundings, treating them just like her best friend. They all knew and recognized her in fact, even saying her name in rememberance. That's how I felt; history repeated itself, in other words. When we all prayed all together, though, I poured my heart out, so that in that way I can shine a light onto Him. Then I gathered up the courage to say, "God Bless!" before walking away. The person next to him didn't tune in, though, which hurt my heart, but at least he greeted us goodbye. God Bless both of them~

The next were an couple!  The sunbae guys talked to a White man while the girl T.A. and the rest of us juniors talked to an African woman. All in all, they really are like normal people; it's amazing what one roof can determine your status to be. It's so easy to decipher them to be nothing just because of a cardboard sign and the sky as their roof, but honestly, that does not determine the heart and mind and the respect they still deserve. Rather, they deserve more respect than we do, for it's even harsher out there in the up-and-down weather, gritty sidewalks, people's judging stares, the constant worry of how they'll survive, and the occasional pang of loneliness.

But really, they're just like anyone else. Long lost sisters and brothers of Christ.

The woman we talked to was really, really animated and she made us laugh so much; she even hugged the T.A. and although the teachers told us to just shake hands rather than hug, she couldn't really decline, could she? She said so herself that although she knows the rules, they're so lovable so she can't not hug her.

Our last person was another woman, younger, White, petite, and with the most animated heart. Apparently she went through a lot of hardships, although I only caught snippets. But for the sake of her privacy, it's only between me and Him <3 She's familiar with some of the people that we were with, too; one girl, at least. And another group who started from her corner hadn't even budged! She had that much to tell, and she had so much heart and spirit. She actually had a lot of objects with her too; she's been blessed a lot, it seems.

I wanted to stay longer; time felt only about 25 mins. or so, when really it has been an hour. Where had the time gone, when joy has taken its place? Our pastor suddenly showed up and said apologetically that the kids have to go back, and although they understood, of course none of us just went away completely at once; rather, we slowly started dispersing. The first man we talked to even joined the woman; they're a loose family too, of their own. It was touching to see. In the end, the pastor also handed out slices of watermelon that were meant for us but got given for a greater purpose than feeding our own full stomachs. Five slices, that was all, yet they were so thankful. And the man we first talked to, he admitted that although he's had such a bad day at first, the joy and light and renewal of faith that God has given Him through us made Him feel so much better. That really made me happy, and wondrous at how God really works. And although I'm undeserving, He has placed in my heart such a calm, clean, pure joy that I felt like I could float off the earth peacefully. Can someone acutally float away in happiness? The night was calm, with light breezes and a thin, crisp night air. Not too hot or cold; the perfect temperature actually. I could not see the moon, but I saw some stars gaily winking down at us. Some of my favorite teachers and friends were around me as we walked back to church, and  did some praise and ate some nachos with spicy melted cheese. But overall, it was an amazing time; something I could hardly ever forget.

Just like a few around me did that night, I want to be familiar with them more and keep reminding them of God's love and light. I want to serve them and get close to them and keep making them happy, and eventually go deeper into their heart. I don't want titles and stereotypes - such little things, really - to keep me away from what God can offer. I've failed that tonight by not attending the praise night, but at least I got to make this testimony...

This Sunday, I saw 2 of them, and although a part of me itched to say hi and God Bless, we were on the road and my mom was there and cars were surrounding us, and they seemed rather far away. I should've just done it anyway; He said it Himself, be bold. I've committed a lot of mistakes that I do need to repent of...Heck, if I went there tonight, I still could've talked to them! Argh...

But everything will happen in due time, yes? And, this is both my punishment and a reminder to not act like I've done tonight. All in all, I need to do whatever it takes to glorify Him, and it's okay if we take baby steps; He is so graceful and merciful that He'll just guide us all the way, yes?

I loved this weekend, despite my shame and guilt and mistakes.

I hope we can do something like this again, sometime soon. I've requested it myself.

I yearn to be forgiven and to forgive myself through action, the next time I go to church.

And...I just marvel at what else Our Father can offer ^^

God Bless! I hope y'all had an amazing weekend, and that you'll have a great week! And sorry if this was long haha ^^;;

-Ginnie