i don't know if this is just me, but am i the only one out there, like, afraid of writing a long, chaptered fic? when i first started writing on aff, i wrote a terrible trainwreck of a story—at least i think so now, looking back at it—that's still up, and i never quite finished it. i dunno.

it just seems scary for me to really commit to a complicated plot and carry it out for that long with the same excitement for it towards the end as i had from the beginning.

i tried about four times to write a chaptered fic—two of which are still up as a reminder for me about improvement—and each time i just lost sight of the plot and wrote mushy, filler chapters. each time the thought of updating seemed like work that i needed to put off as long as i can because i could.

that's when i deleted them and just started writing a bunch of oneshots for now.

i tried one more time, but i didn't post it. i wanted to write at least ten chapters before posting it in case i would give up in the middle. i gave up at chapter five, disappointed with what i wrote.

honestly, there are amazing fics out there that last for 80-100 chapters with minimum filler chapters, enough action to keep you interested, and a complicated plot. i really wish i could write like that. instead of my small oneshots. but i like my small oneshots. it brings me really loyal readers. by the way i love all my readers to death. i'm just really shy and usually bad at approaching people online. but if you approach me, you are, like, god in my eyes.

eh, maybe i'm just being weird...