I don’t really want other people to know about my problems, but it’s too hard for me now. Even though I want to move forward despite of all the hardships, I just can’t. I’m stuck on the idea that my life right now , and I can’t do anything about it. 

I envy the people around me. I know they have problems too, but I think mine’s the worst. Also, they can be happy despite of their problem, and me? I can’t even smile. The pain that I’m going through is too much. Not just pain actually, loneliness, hatred and some other negative emotions. I want to let it out, but tears won’t fall. I know it’s bad for my heart, really, to just keep everything inside. And I can feel it. I can feel it in my chest, and I really think that my heart could stop beating any second. Or maybe I won’t wake up the next time I sleep.

Why do I have to feel this way? Why do I have to feel pathetic, useless? Why do I have to feel so small compared to others? Why I am suffering? I got a lot of questions, but I never found an answer.