Title 3/5

Not original at all. But even though that, I liked it very much, it gave off a fluffy feeling just like your story. I don't see the need of putting the Korean meaning.

 

Appearance 5

 

Description and Foreword 5/10

Description is where you describe your story, describe your plot not where you place the characters' informations. You don't have to put the characters' information as it will be developed in the story isn't it?

 

The English 18/35

Grammar: less problem.

Writing: This is where your problem begins. After a full stop must always be followed by a word with its initial capitalized. ( I ) and a name's inital must also always be capitalized no matter where it is in the paragraf. (These are rules that cannot be denied)

Spelling: mostly typographical mistakes. Readers will have a hard time interpreting and may lose interest.

Mistakes I found:

-the (The) youngest siblings of Infinite's Kim Myungsoo.  

-you (You) had been joining the club since you entered your junior high school 4 years ago and had achieved quite an ammount (amount) of trophies, medals and achievements from school wide to nation wide.

-you (You) always work things out to get to be the best. (to be the best, simple enough right?)

-He is a fine song writer (,) his first written song was "Because" which was featured in Infinite's first official album.

-Myungsoo's best friend-slash- (What is this?) bandmate.

-but, she is a best friend who were (is, you used present tense to describe her and she is singular) there with you in every condition whether it was so sad or it was happy, she would likely be at your side. 

-“Oppa, I am approaching the national Olympiad (Olympics) and you told me to stop,” 

-you whispered to moonsoo. (Moonsoo.)

-"*sighs* (You don't have to put *sighs* as you written Myungsoo sighed at the end and even though you did not write, you must never put *sighs* or such things anywhere in your story) i ( I ) thought she's somewhere with the hyungs," Myungsoo sighed.

-The (They)  also told you to dress up as pretty as possible.

I suggest you to write in Ms. Word first or get a beta-reader if you haven't.

 

Plot 10/20

Since its still beginning, I can't tell much. There is something I am wondering about, how can a teen girl sleep together with her older brother in a bed? I mean they are adults already so it makes no sense?

 

Arrangement 25/30

Even though its only two chapters, your arrangement is good. The colours and the font, please just use one colour or font, it makes my eyes hurt. 

 

Originality 6/10

I've seen lots of stories like yours. My brother is a member of a group band and one or two of his group members ended up falling in love with me, typical love story. But I liked how you made the girl a runner. 

 

Viewer's comments 5/5

 

Overall: 72/115

 

Reviewer's note: Don't be discouraged! I hope I helped, if you have anything that you don't understand, you can come and ask me! ^^