Freedom
 

Four years have passed since our breakup.

So why is it that I still can’t forget you? Why does your face still appear in my dreams? Why does your voice still ring in my ears? Everywhere I go, you’re there beside me—following me. I want to forget you. I want to forget your smile, your touch, your scent… I want to forget everything. I’ve tried so hard to start over. I take a different route to work; I avoid every restaurant we’ve eaten at; I even threw away the ring that once defined us as “us.”

To be honest, it scares me how vividly I remember every moment we spent together. I remember the shirt you were wearing on the first day we met. I remember the tall Caffè Americano I spilled on that shirt on that same day. You got mad and yelled at me, demanding that I pay for the dry cleaning fee and a new shirt. Though I apologized numerous times, you still chastised me as if I were a child. Then I finally decided I didn’t want to listen to you anymore, so I spilled the remainder of my coffee on your shoes and left.

We met each other for a second time two weeks later, at a mutual friend’s birthday party. For the sake of our friend, we decided to start anew and try to get along. By the end of the night, we had become good friends, and as time went on, we became more than that. I remember your sad attempt to ask me to be your girlfriend—how you tried to do that while we were in a rowboat. You stood up to take the ring out of your pocket, which resulted in capsizing the boat. We were both soaking wet, and I blamed you for almost killing me. But when you finally got that stupid ring out of your pocket and showed it to me, I forgot every reason why I should have been mad at you.

I remember crying that night.

From that day on, there was not a moment we weren’t by each other’s sides. If there were any moments when we weren’t together…then I don’t remember those days. To me, those times don’t exist. They never have, and they never will.

I look at these pictures, and I remember what we used to be. I hold your sweater in my arms and remember how we used to do the laundry together. I look at the mahogany table in the dining room and reminisce on the meals we ate together. The curtains remind me of the days we shopped together, and staring at the floor reminds me of when we used to tread the same path.

Where are those days? Those moments? When did we begin to fall apart? When did I start hurting this much? Do you really not care that we decided to abandon four years of a relationship we both tended to so carefully? Do you really not mind living here, under the same roof of the house we used to share? It doesn’t bother you that the space on your bed next to you is now empty? You don’t mind having to cook for yourself and no one else? 

I am astounded—amazed—that you are able to keep living. I want to be free…just like you. It’s not fair that you can continue living with your own purpose, while I am stuck in the past, having lost mine. You still have motivation to breathe, while I have nothing but memories.

I want to forget this house. I want to forget these pictures. I want to forget you. If I can just forget it all, I’ll finally be free.

Goodbye.

June 2, 2011

It has just been reported that 24 hours ago, a house was set on fire and collapsed to the ground before firefighters could reach the premises. After putting out the fire, officials searched the home for any survivors, but it was too late. A man had been inside the house, tied and locked in the closet of a bedroom. Four of his fingers were cut off; his arm had suffered internal bleeding due to brutal smashing; his face suffered third-degree burns, and it was therefore impossible for forensic scientists to identify the victim. More information on this event is yet to come.    

Yay, a one-shot~ It's short though... Only 731 words. Meh. Anyway! This one-shot has nothing to do with the story line or lyrics of the song "Going Crazy" by Song Ji Eun and Bang Yong Guk. In addition, my sanity is perfectly in tact~ (Or is it..? Keke~)

I hope you all enjoyed this one-shot~ ^^