I'm not sure where my special message to my favorite fanboy and dear friend went but it disapperaed. It was in  my other blog post and like a ghost, it seems to have vanished. This means a new blog post and a new message.

Cody is guy I met on tumblr. He's a guy I followed long before he followed me. He's someone I never expected to have follow back and often times, I wonder what would have happened if we never followed each other. Would our lives really be any different?

Some people have cosmic personalities, they're a little out of this world. I don't know if that describes Cody but he does stand out and like the sky his personality seem large. It can't be contained.

I like that about him. Cody is passionate, hardworking and gentlehearted. He has an inner child that comes out to play and sometimes pout. He's someone that makes you stop in your tracks when he's in pain. He's a year older, a bit wiser, and still very charismatic.

He may never read this post, but there are some things I want to say.

First off, I wanted to write a fic full of cheer and cake, where merriment spilled from the text. But something in me chose a different path. I didn't plan it. I just sat, started typing and before I knew it the words held such a gloom I didn't think it fit for a birthday gift. I didn't understand why, when I wanted a fic that smiled, I ended with a teary one. But I told myself, you like angst. A good cry never hurt anyone and maybe it's not so dreary. There's light in there....somewhere.

It was my best friend, we'll call him Alex as he prefers to have his real name unknown, who said no matter how much i hate it cody should read it.

Perhaps the words were grim because one can't express Alex's  feelings for you Cody without a little emotional bleakness. He is the main of the story, even though it's your fic. I never include myself in the story but I know I'm among the slew of content. I say this because Alex and I share similar thoughts.

I said something in the fic that I don't agree with "a breakup entails no longer caring ."

I disagree with myself here. Sometimes we leave because we care too much. We are consumed with it to the point where it is almost suffocating for all the parties involved. Sometimes the best way to love someone is at  a safe distance.

To be loved is such a beautiful thing but to love is such a dangerous art. The moment you are entrusted with someone's heart you take a voe to relinquish all your own preconcieved selfish notions about love and attempt to do their heart justice, their way. We all fail trying at some point. If you have not failed in love, you have not loved I say. Alex feels he's failed you many times and since your pain is taken in by him, he'd rather not make a hobby of hurting you anymore.

I can't go back to the first time I followed you, expect by memory. And I can't reframe our friendship. It's a little crooked at the moment. But caring about you hasn't and won't stop. I want to you smile, laugh, sometimes cry..tears of joy. I want you to remember that wherever you go you carry the heart of someone with you, so you're never alone. I wish that you are always surronded by those who will treat you with the utmost kindness and repect and on days when the world seems black I hope you'll patiently wait for the bit of light making it's way tp you.

I love you and I'm glad I met you

Your number one fan

Scarlet

xox