REALITY BITES: Composition of MIss F

The time when I was broken hearted:

I used to believe in fairytales, I used to think that I am indeed a princess and that someday a prince would come and sweep me off my feet and give me the happily ever after ending.

At my age, I must say I am too naïve and clueless about the real world, there are a lot of things I still don’t understand and there are a lot of things I wish I know. Maybe it is because I grew up well showered with love and well sheltered by family and friends that up to this day, I still think that life is sugar and spice and everything nice.

I always greet each day with a delightful zest for life, I always see the best in every individual thus I easily give them my trust with no doubts that they would eventually hurt and take advantage of me. For me, each day is something to be grateful for and each individual is God-given and deserve to be treated nicely and loved wholeheartedly.

I don’t usually get my hands dirty and bruise my knees… I don’t usually get hurt and that explains why I am so weak when it comes to emotional pains. I don’t like to be hurt, well I guess nobody does, and like everyone, with each pain and hurt, the more I am starting to realize that the real world is not like how I pictured it to be.

In the real world, you are not a princess, there is no more prince charming and the happily ever after ending is just nothing but a dream.
In the real world, pain is inevitable and once you get hurt, there is no fairy god-mother to erase the pain.

In the real world, magic don’t exist, true love hardly exist.

In the real world, people will hurt you. People will make you cry. The one you love will break your heart.
In the real world, you are not a princess. You are a girl, vulnerable to hurts and pains. You are not a princess and the prince charming you thought you found will eventually turn out to be someone who’d sweep you off your feet and then drop you just that.

I just wish there would no more prince charming who’d make a princess fall and then not catch her when she indeed fell, so there would be one less little girl who’d get her fairytale dream shattered.

:so bitter, I'm glad I managed to move on...

Writing... watching Jpop did a lot ^^,

(My version: Tagalog: (from tumblr)

i used to believe in fairy tale…kea nahilig aq maniwala sa mga happy ending…Nangarap p aq n magkaron ng isa lng na boyfriend… yung tipong pag nakilala q n xa… xa ang magiging first at last ko… mamahalin q xa talga…

“ang pagkikita namin puno ng twist… iyon bang matgal n pla kmi nagkikita…peo hndi lng nmn npapancn ang isa’t isa…sa sayawan…isaisayaw nia q… bibigyan ng red roses…o kahit isang rose lang, okey n…ganun ang gusto ko…”

 

i used to believe na ang buhay ntn ay pwedeng maging tulad sa fairy tale… kea ng dumating c first love… sobrang na-excite aq… e2 n yung hinihntay ko…after 19 years since i born, nagka love life n dn… akla q mgging masaya…hndi q npaghandaan yung fact n sa totoong buhay may mga taong pdeng manakit sayo… Ginamit nia lang pla q n panakip butas…mas pinili nia ang basketball kesa makasama q sa sayawan…ipinangako nia ang rose peo d nmn natupad, pinadlan nia q ng picture msg n rose peo gm pla un… naisip q n lang n pde nia qng ma22nan mahlin, d q xa iiwan…dba nga, my pangarap aq…isang bf lang..kso sbrang sakit n, hndi lng pla aq ang ginagamit nia n pnakip butas…hndi nmn kc aq mganda kea kht na22nan q n xang mahalin, pinili q n n mkipagbreak…

“mahal kita…pero ayoko n sayo…”

 

Gus2 ko n magkusa xang bumalik peo hndi nia ginawa,…kung sana nagsorry xa at inadmit n nagkamli, mkikipagbalikan nmn aq peo sa halip n yon 2luyan nia n qng iniwan, humanp n lng xa ng iba… madals q clang makita, sobrang sakit…peo tiniis q yon…TIWALA aq n isang araw makikilala q ang PRINSIPE q n xang magpaparamdam skn ng care xka love. Nagpatawad aq…at pinili n ilet go xa at maging kaibigan na lng…MASAKIT p rin, peo alm q n mawwla rin i2.

after 8 months.

Sumali aq sa isang activity kung san magpproduce kmi ng mga amateur films, doon naging camera in charge aq, habang kinukuhanan q ang eksena ni ex with her gf, pretend n ok lng peo deep inside masakit, iniiyak q n lng s gabi…peo ok lng yon dahil yung mga nkasama q sa Ativity ay mga friendly…naging kclose q tlaga sila

“makakalimutan mu din xa kapag may nakilala k nag bago” sabi yan nung isa sa mga new friends q… yung guy n nagsabi nian…nakilala q xa dati p… xa yung founder ng clan n cnalihan q (peo quit nq) xa din yung nakasayaw q s isang dance social (yung dance social kung saan nakilala ni ex yung new gf nia) nung time n un, sobrang broken aq… n halos umiyak nq…mabuti n lang nga dahil may nagpa2g2g ng japanese song yung fave q, aitakute… nung mga oras n yon… ginus2 q n makilala yung may ari ng fone n may aitakute…kea nga aq sumali sa clan para mkilala xa, peo hndi nmn kmi ngaktxt dun..cnung mag aakala n d2 pla sa film fest activity q xa makikilala at makkclose.

Friend n kmi…gus2 q tlaga maging kaibigan yung mahihilig dn sa japanese song gaya q… ang bait nia p…mas nging close kmi sa mga overnyt pag e-edit ng film..

Nagkaron aq ng sympathy sa kanya after qng malaman yung malungkot niang love s2ry…tapos favorite nia din c hiei ng YuYu hakusho…n2wa 2loi aq sa kanya…at mas napancn q xa nung isang umaga nkareceive aq ng txt from him…hinihngi nia number ng frend q, binigay q nmn then dun n kmi nagstart magkatxt-ask q yung frend q kung magktxt dn cla, hndi nmn dw…txt txt kmi at nung gabi, dinalhan nia q ng siomai sa bahay(hinanap nia tlaga bahay namn) ayoko nmn umasa o mag assume peo iba yung pakiramdam q..ang saya q!

“hindi q xa pdeng maging crush peo narrmdaman q n gus2 nia q…peo ayokong mag assume…peo sa 2long nia, nkalimutan q n yung pain from my ex..cguro ok lng magkaron ng crush… peo… a week n xa d nagt2xt…oh cge, gani2 n lng magging crush q n tlaga xa kpag isinayaw nia q sa dance social sa film fest (viewing n nung mga film n ginawa nmn)”

Nramdaman q n parang umiiwas xa peo nahuli q xa n naktingin s kin, nagpalit dw xa ng sim ..at… isinayaw nia q

“iyon ang pinaka masayang dance social q…isinayaw aq ng crush q…naramdaman q tlaga  n gus2 nia q.”

pagkatapos nun…nagbago xa…kung kailan inadmit q n n gus2 q n xa…ay bigla nia qng iniwasan… tlagang iniwasan nia q…d tintxt, d kinakausap. Naging plaicipan yon skin.  Sa loob ng mahigit 3 buwan, iniwasan nia q.

“Nasaktan aq…peo kasalanan q dahil aq yung nag assume. Peo ok lang, ang mahalaga, tinulungan nia qng makalimutan c ex… xa ang PRINSIPE q”

Ile-let go q n xa…kalilimutan q n nagus2han q xa… yung tym n nagdisisyon aq n gawin un ay xa ring tym n nag misscall xa… nagkatxt ult kmi… AS FRIENDS. (friends n nag fflirt?) may iba dw xang mahal…kea iniwasan nia q kc unfair kung i22loi nia panliligaw… (So dapt pla pasalamatan q ang kagitingan nia? ang hndi q lang maintndhan ay kung bkt kinailangan nia qng iwasan) peo ang mahalaga nmn ay yung pinagsamahan nmn nung film fest…we’re friends.

alm q n may iba xang mahal, peo naging madals ang pagt2xt nia, pagtawag, pumupunta dn xa sa bahay…mga sweet messages…fud…may gift p n kwntas. Ayokong umasa peo aaminin q, naisip q n bka sa kaling ma22nan nia rin aqng mahalin.

Never aqng nagtanong kung ano kmi, peo hndi q inaalis sa icp q n magkaibigan lang tlaga kmi. Akala q nga ending n nung cnabi nia n wag q n xang magus2han dhil bka mahawa lng aq sa malungkot niang life peo after niang sabihin yon bumawi xa ng mga mas sweet messages or (paasang lines) niyaya nia p q mag date.

Iyon b yung M.U….?

peo bigla ulit xa umiwas…ka2lad nung ginawa nia dati… ayokong isipin n magagawa nia ult yon, peo ginawa nia nga. This tym nmn, tnxt nia nia kung bkt.

“sorry, pinilit kitang mahalin peo hndi q kaya…xa p rn ang mahal ko”

kaya pla sa tuwing magkasama kmi ay ndi aq maxadong masaya ay dahil ang presenxa nia wla pla tlga s tabi q.. kea pla gus2 nia secret lhat… kaci cguro pinalano nia n iiwan nia rin aq. Kea pla gus2 nia n mgpapayat aq at magpahaba ng buhok para maging ka2lad nung tlagang mahal nia…kea pla after nung date nmn lagi n lang xa may

sakit o kea naglalaro ng dota o kea hndi n mag c-cp o d mkakapag load kc humahanp xa ng palusot para iwasan aq… kea pla minsan inaasar nia q sa ibang guy at cnbihan ng lalakero… sa huli…ipinaramdam nia skin n ka2lad ng ex q… ginawa nia rin aqng panakip butas

 

peo hndi aq dun nasaktan ng sobra… nasaktan aq ng sabihin nia n pinilit nia peo hndi nia kaya… ibig sbihin pla wlang something special skin kea lhat ng nakikilala q.. N22WA lng skn…hndi aq kayang mahalin…. s huli, aq p yung lumabas n masama

“bkt k galit s kn, anu bng ginawa q?” (tanong nia dhil d q xa pinancn) well…may bago n xang GF ngaun n MAGANDA dw…

dpat maging masaya q for him…hndi nia nmn aq pinaasa…sabi nia nga hndi nmn naging kami, in fact dapt p aqng mgpasalamt dhil naging honest xa skin…

peo sana kht papano maicp nia n nasaktan nia q. Umasa q…umasa tlaga q n yung second tym mgging ok n… peo ganun dn pla yung is2rya…

ngaun, d q alm kung pano q p xa tatanggapin as friend.

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