Well in one of my previous blog posts I wrote about things going on in my church. Now almost all my friends have left. In my youth group there's only me and 3 other people. I cried so much today. It feels like someone took my heart and like broke it into 1000000 pieces and threw it into my face. They're like my sisters!! We actually like grew up together!! I don't get how 1 stranger could just split our church just like that!!! We're all like a family!! Growing up around these people. I think I'm still in like a shock. I cried so much my eyes sting and I have headache. Honestly I feel like no understands and there's no one I can talk to. Right now I'm so done with church and religion. Yes I know I shouldn't be saying something like this and that I shouldn't let something get in the way of my relationship with God but right now... I just can't and I just don't care. Yes I should be praying and stuff but the next person that tells me to pray for the people who left and the people who started all this , I swear I will like ing beat them. I normally don't swear but right now I'm beyond caring. I feel so... Depressed I guess. It's so hard. If I pray and attend church I'll feel like a hypocrite because I honestly don't think I can worship God right now with my heart. It'll just be like fake. Everything's so hard right now. Not just this drama but the emotional impact and some other issues I have in my family and stress from my summer assignments and other stuf, I don't know if I'm emotionally stable. Like I'm not going crazy or anything, but I can't concentrate and I can't focus and everytime I think of my friends, no my SISTERS who left, I just start crying. I don't know if I can do these assignments. This is gonna look bad on my record if I drop the class  though. I'm so confused right now. Everything's just stressing me out and I can't like concentrate. My heart hurts so bad. Why did God do this to us?? I really hope I can open my heart to God again and have a better and stronger relationship with Him. Someone help me? Advice? Anything?? Please?

Thanks to those who read my entire depressing blog post. I'm grateful. I really am.