When I make mistake I always tried to learned from them, thats what makes me a strong little girl. Growing up as a little girl not having what you want most in life. A father. It was always my dream to be here with him , with maman et papa by my side everyday I woke up. For me it was very different the only person that I have by my side is my precious maman ,that is always there for me no matter what. Suffering sometimes because of not having enough money to feed the family . Sometimes I miss my dad that I even cried, But no one noticed, my mother hates my dad ,and if she founds out that I miss him that much she will be very mad and mostly confused. But I managed to act like everyone else tried to smile. They're is always something that bothers me when someone talks about their father is like my heart just broke in two, and someone steps on it again.  When they are having a conversation about dad  I have to act like mine is still in my life. I have to lied everytime a subject of dad hits the table. It kills me that soo many people are being happy enjoying every single moments in their lives with their father, i just have the pain that will never go away until i die. 12 years of not seeing my father its a shame never contacted my mother to ask on how we doing or anything, well i guess he is living a good life in  Canada. I sometimes even get the feeling that he die ,and cry without reason. It will be fun to spend even one night with my father ,dialogue about everything that happened those past years. " who am i kidding" .. well i always say that if one day something happens and i get to see him, i will slap him"i am dead serious". Before moving to America i saw him once, he take a plane all away to Canada to say goodbye. I still remember the look i have on my face when i was coming out of school, and see him sat there on a chair just looking at the entrence door. After that i never saw him again, but i wish nothing happen to him, i really love both of them (mother, and father). I always wonder when he lay his head to bed doesn't her even know that were alive, doesn't he regret or something.. Because of all those sometimes i even wish that he wasn't my father. One of my mother's friend was talking about her father , she was showing pictures she took with him for *fathers day*. i anvy her i just wish my day would be here ,and we would celebrate together..I guess that will never happen. the worse thing is he doesn't act like a father he have two beautiful children with my mother...... he never call once, not once.. worse then that i don't hate him... i just wish they could be a way to find him somehow, Wouldn't that be beautiful walking with my dad by my side gaving joke, take pictures, eat ice cream, care, and love each other,  Well for now the only one that i could really thank is my mother, brother, and sister for being here for me..For the rest of my life, im not going to know how daughter and father act..... MINE IS NOT HERE. to really tell you, my mother is the best thing that could ever happen to me... LOVE HER SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. she's my everything. I always have a smile on my face just to keep my mother happy, if not she will be worried to death.

 I AM VERY LUCKY!!!!!