Title: How I Lost My ity to Taecyeon Oppa

Author: milkybunny

Reviewer: ctrl_me

---

 

Title: 4/5

It's interesting but it doesn't fit with your story. The story revolved mainly around the sasaeng fan, about what she does.

 

Poster/Graphics: 5/5

I love the poster.:))

 

Foreword/Description: 9/10

It's direct to the point. A bit short, I think.

 

Originality: 8/10

I found it original... but a bit predictable. Maybe because the character here is a typical sasaeng fan, actually admitting that she is one.

 

Plot: 17/20

 

Grammar/Spelling: 21/30

I found some minor errors like the wrong use of commas. But since you put it as a fan account, I think it's okay. Here are some of your mistakes.

'I only smiled at him too flustered to even reply.'

You missed putting a comma. It should be: 'I only smiled at him, too flustered to even reply.'

'I moved to a ty apartment it was small with only basic furnishings.'

This one should be split into two sentences since there are two complete thoughts. 'I moved to a ty apartment. It was small with only basic furnishings.' Or maybe you can put it this way: 'I moved to a small, ty apartment with only basic furnishings.'

'... until there were only two of us. Me and my friend whose bias is Chansung oppa.'

The second statement it hanging. i mean, it's incomplete. You should have put it this way: '... until there were only two of us - me and my friend whose bias is Chansung oppa.' This time, there's no need for you to separate it into two sentences.

Aside from the wrong use of commas, the use of 'I' and 'me' is also a problem. It appeared once or twice only, though.

 

Flow: 8/10

For me, it's a bit fast and confusing. But I still enjoyed it.

 

Neatness: 5/5

You're consistent with your font and the way your write.

 

Extra: 3/5

 

Total: 80/100