Review for kyuhyuri08

Title: Magic of Love...

Author: kyuhyuri08

Reviewer: ctrl_me

Title: 3/5

The title was already used. I mean, I've encountered a title similar to this one. It's kind of interesting, though.

Poster/Graphics: 3/5

I think the poster is fine. It's just that it doesn't fit your title well. It should have been dreamy or 'magical' to fit in with the story.

Foreword/Description: 7/10

You've stated things that the readers should know. You've summarized your story briefly, which is good. But you've revealed too much. That lessens the readers interest/ excitement/ curiousity. Reading the description gave us ideas on what will happen, chapter by chapter.

Originality: 6/10

I can't say that it's totally original. Sort of, I guess.

Plot: 15/20

Grammar/Spelling: 15/30

I've seen many errors but I'll show you those in chapters one to three.

Chapter 1:

'Long time ago, there was this legend beliefs in a small island in South Korea where a Genie is said so

beautiful and attractive, if her master is gentlemen, they'll fall for her, and wanted to have her as their lady, but as the rules go, she should only fulfill 3 of their wishes and they should let go afterwards.'

This one is really confusing because you put many thoughts together in just one sentence. Dividing it will help us understand it better. And a part of it should be: '... where a Genie is said to be so beautiful and attractive...'

Chapter 2:

'She was his protector, from those bullies who bully him.'

You can already omit the comma. It useless.

'Kibum Flashback, 8 years old'

It should be: 'Kibum's Flashback, 8 years old' since we're talking about possession/ownership here.

'YAHH!!! don't shout on my ears.'

You forgot your capitalization here. It should be 'YAHH!!! Don't shout on my ears.'

'... your staring at the floor for almost an hour.'

It should be: '... you're staring at the floor for almost an hour.'

Chapter 3:

'I couldn't help but keep thinking about her, did she eat already???'

Again, you should separate this into two sentences. It has two different thoughts.

'Tiffany stand in front of him and pushed him.'

Be consistent. If you used the past tense of a verb, you should do it with the other verbs. It should be: 'Tiffany stood in front of him and pushed him.'

Just remember to be consistent with the verb use, keep in mind the capitalization, and try separating long sentences into two or more.:))

Flow: 5/10

The story's good. But it's a bit fast and confusing. Maybe it's because of the sudden shifts in POVs.

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