Title: ! ~oh no . NO ! give me back MY BAMBOO PILLOW !! ~ !

Author: taeraa

Reviewer: ctrl_me

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Title: 2/5

Well, your title is long. 'Give Me Back My Bamboo Pillow' is enough.

 

Poster/Graphics: 5/5

I really love your poster! It suits your story since there's a picture of L holding the pillow. You picked a good poster shop.:)

 

Foreword/Description: 3/10

It's good to give the readers a glimpse of what will happen in the story. But I'll give you a low score since there are lots of mistakes. You said english is not your first language so, I'll set aside the grammar errors. :)) What bothers me is your capitalization.

 

Originality: 7/10

For me, it's sort of original.

 

Plot: 15/20

 

Grammar/Spelling - 10/30

You have mentioned that you're still studying how to be good in english. So I think it's right point some mistakes and I hope this will help.

'... are you KPOP artist ?'

It should be: '... are you a KPOP artist?'

'yura , mina , woori and hanna was busy gosipping and talking...'

It should be: 'Yura, Mina, Woori and Hanna were busy gossiping and talking...' Was is in singular form and since three characters were involved, the form should be in plural form.

" so , what i gonna do ? "

It should be: "So, what am I gonna do?"

'he know him !'

It should be: 'He knows him!' Since the subject is singular, you should use the plural form of the verb.

Your common mistake, aside from the capitalization, is the use of punctuation marks. The marks should be right after the last word. Omit putting a space between the last word and the punctuation mark.

Microsoft Word is a good tool to use. It will help you with your grammar.:) You may opt to use online grammar checkers.

 

Flow: 7/10

 

Neatness: 2/5

I've noticed that you centered all quotations. You don't have to do that since it's kind of confusing. Also, you wrote it one sentence per line. It looked like a poem. You can write it in a paragraph form for neatness.

 

Extra: 2/5

Your readers liked it. Good job.:))

 

Total: 53/100

 

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Note: Sorry if it's a bit harsh. Good luck on studying english! Hope this helped you somehow.:))