I've been reading blog post about guys breaking girl's heart so I'm really confused. The guys who broke the girl's heart make me already think every guy is like that but. I think I like this guy but I'm really not sure. Everytime I think he likes me back, reading the blogs make me think otherwise. Furthermore, I have no idea whether I really like him or not. He's really a sweatherat and yesterday, I went to the library and he accompanied me without me asking or  agreeing. When I asked him why he accompanied me although he was really tired he said cause he didn't want me to be lonely. 

He even had his Chinese Exam that day and I know very well how horrible he is in chinese. Plus he's 17 this year and I'm only 13. The -sighs.- I've told my friend that my senior has been texting me a lot and he (yes, it's a he) told me, "Why would a senior be texting you? You like him, don't you?" I thoug- ok, I didn't really think but at that time I really wasn't sure so I answered with a, "I don't like him. I don't like anyone." Then he went of saying that he liked me. 

Like I said, everytime I think he like me back, there's always something stopping me from confirming it. One, he think my friend like me. Two, he talks about this girl called valrie a lot. Three, blog post. Four, he pretends he doesn't know me infront of his friends. Like the other time I said 'Hi' to him, he completely ignored me and continued talking to another girl who gave me the who-the-hell-are-you? and he-completely-ignored-you-and-is-talking-to-me-look. You know when your crush ignores you and you'll feel the pain in heart? I felt that. But it didn't feel pain. It just had that rejected feeling. I really don't know how to explain it. It's hard. 

So why I think he likes me back? One, like I said the library part. Two, he'll text me in class when he's supposed to be paying attention. Three, he calls me cute a lot. Four, at times he'll call me pretty. Five, when we were at the library, he lent me his jacket although he was cold. I also noticed how red his face was while he was sitting next to me. Maybe the redness was because he was cold or he was... Blushing? I really don't know. Six, like I mentioned, we text everyday. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I sleep and usually he's the one making the new conversation. So in one day, we can talk about 5-7 or more topics. 

Even if he doesn like me, I doubt he'll confess because I told him I want to lead a single, lonely life. we've been into that topic twice and I've always given him the same answer. I'll reject whoever'll confess to me. So here's how the conversation went.

Him: Nothing's wrong. Erm try the wetern part of spore... Well, I have a fren who I think he does look good. 
Me: Nah... I've lived in the western part b4. But I plan to lead a single, lonely life.
Him: Haha, he is twice your age, studying in Australia but why you don't wanna get a partner next time?
Me:Cause I'll be a horrible partner. I'll barely spend time with the other person. I rather be the best friend. 

See, so he won't even dare to tell me anything... But I also told him that even if I like someone and he confessed, I still wounldn't accept unless I really really liked him then I'll try it out. 

So... I'll really be leading a single life