IDOL COUPON by LilUlzStar

Reviewed by ELF

Title: 3/5
Interesting. It's a cute title, but I deducted points for it being all in caps. It urks me when I see a story that has something all in caps, it screams unprofessionalism to me. I get that you're trying to get people's attentions, or maybe you're trying to emphasize something, but you could get more people to click on your story if you capitalized the words correctly.

Appearance: 5/5
No poster, but you have a very cute background. The colors you use and the font aren't distracting and they don't hurt my eyes, so that's good.

Description/Foreword: 5/10
You do a character bio thingy in the description. I have a love-hate relationship with these things, but I think character bios are an easy way for the author to tell the reader about the characters without describing them throughout the story. Your description and foreword don't capture my attention and make me want to read your story. It has some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, but I'll write about that in the grammar and spelling section.

Characterization: 9/10
You describe your characters in the description, so we already get a look at how your characters act and look. You stick true to your character bios throughout the story, so that's good.

Plot: 10/15
It's a bit generic, I've seen a few stories like this whether they be idol related or not. slave, and then they fall in love; the plot-line in a nutshell. You do add some interesting twists though.

Flow: 5/15
Your flow is a bit too fast for my liking. It's kind of like, boom Ren gets denied again. Boom, he meets the love of his life but doesn't know it yet. Boom he gets accepted into a company. Boom, he's almost . Boom, he starts training. Boom, they fall in love. Boom, baby.

Grammar & Spelling: 10/25

Description:
Since you do character intros in the description I'll just go through each one.

Ren: Instead of writing, "with a dream of becoming an idol." it would've sounded better as, "with the dream of becoming an idol." Replace everything with anything in the second sentence. In a nutshell, I would have written Ren's bio like this: Ren is a young and naive boy with the dream of becoming an idol. He'll do anything to achieve his dream, but what will happen when he ends up giving up something he holds precious and has spent his whole life protecting.

Minhyun: I would have written his bio like this, "Minhyun is one of the most famous producers in the entertainment business. He not only raises his hopeful stars, but becomes their personal managers as well. His cold demeanor attracts both boys and girls, and it's no secret that he gives even the most untalented person a chance to become a star by giving him something most people protect... Their ity."

Baekho: "Baekho is Ren's protective older brother. He's always wanted the best for his little brother, even if it means opposing Ren's idea of becoming an idol. Throughout the years he has developed a severe brother complex." You didn't give much information on his personality other than him being a protective older brother.

JR: "JR is a rising star under the wings of Aron. He is considered to be truly talented, and while he might seem like a bad guy, he's really kind hearted. Since he and Ren are competing for the title of rookie of the year, he considers him to be his number one rival."

Aaron: Okay first of all, I'd like to say that you spelt his name two different ways in the Foreword/Description. Since I'm not a NU'EST fan I don't know which is correct, but seeing as how you spell his name with two a's in all the other chapters I'm going with that. "Aaron is JR's manager and producer who is famous for writing songs that touch peoples' hearts. Like Minhyun, he makes trainees who dream of becoming an idol into being his slave. Although he and Minhyun are best friends, their personalities clash often since they're so similar."

In a nutshell, you switch tenses very often during your story and you use the wrong form of words too. There are some simple spelling errors throughout your story as well. I would suggest proofreading multiple times before you publish the chapter.

Writing: 2/5
To be honest I don't like your writing style that much. It's very simple and unoriginal.

Enjoyment: 2/5

- No Bonus -

Total: 51/100

ELF's Note:
I'm really sorry for the late review, I've been very busy at school since it's almost the end of the year. I'm also very sorry if I sound harsh in this review, but I hope that you will use this as an opportunity to improve! :)