Here I am, ranting rubbish again... Its very long really. Sorry.

Title says it all.

Well have you heard of the phrase coming out from her/his shell?

Truth is, I'm like that.

But I'm the opposite

I mean, I go back into my 'shell'

You must be thinking this girl is going crazy.

Nope im not, I am just puzzled by it

so I want someone to enlighten me about it

Like now people think of me as a quiet and reserved person at first glance

When I'm younger I am the complete opposite

I'm WAY MORE outgoing and I play and hit guys and- let's just say I'm not GIRLY. AT ALL.

I have been small sized all my life, not those normal small size. It's those -so-small-sized-till-you-don't-look-your-age kind

So I have been bullied quite alot.

But boy, have they picked the WRONG TARGET.

My temper's very short. ( some maths? mum=fiery temper, dad=fiery temper. x2 of that and it'll be=me)

And for some unknown reason I was VERY VIOLENT when I'm a child ( still is...erm abit when I have reached my limit.)

Funny thing is, I'm ONE OF THE BULLIES.

Sort of, since I hit guys for no reason and all ( but lightly so they are not hurt or anything)

There was this girl bully who hates me for no apparent reason when i'm...7

She picks on me everytime.

One day my limit reached, so I pushed her roughly against the wall.

Like you know stand up and suddenly BAM! push her to the wall at the far corner

My teacher either didn't see or he didn't want to report me, so I'm off the hook.

And yeah, she stopped bullying me.

Then theres this one guy who hates me for no apparent reason also.

And we nearly broke out into a fight, he was the one who started it first though.

Then when I'm...13 I think, when i'm in a new school and everything.

My violent character just went away.

I don't talk much, but when I do I'm friendly (most of the time; if you are nice i'm nice)

And though I have a loud voice (like screaming shouting,etc) I have fear of public speaking =="

Oh, the irony.

My legs trembled and my voice came out very soft.

Now it is still like that, when I speak to people they have to strain their ears to hear me properly.

I didn't know why I go back into my shell though, its kind of weird. I mean everyone does the opposite and then theres me.

My attack and defense weapons also changed.

Last time its my fist/something like that

Now its my words.

I don't know, people say my words sometimes are poisonous and I'm way too straightforward

I don't think so, but alot of people have said it so I guess its true

When I'm angry I will just go skdghsdklg in my head (usually its in chinese and hokkien ,--my dialect occasionally there wil lbe kroean and english)  I don't scold swear words though, just wth, omg, , all these stuff. Yeah.

All in all I just thing I'm someone that you can't sterotype.

I look like a nerd(thick specs), but my grades prove otherwise. I'm a geek(I like sci fic and video games and computers) but im not a crazy fan. Sometimes I lead the group, sometimes I don't. I'm definitely not the in crowd people, since im not fashionable or anything.

I kind of thing of myself as a wanderer that is friends with everyone but is never close to alot of them.

Those that are close to me would be close to me for a long time.

I guess I'm just a mix of everything? @.@

I tend to talk more about my feelings and such when i'm on the computer.

Maybe its because my english pronounciation is so lousy or something,

but I don't want to burden people with my troubles and when I talk face to face I can't help feeling I'm burdening them.

I'm nearly always the listener tohugh, since I don't have much worries.

Oh and I have a worry.

I'm over sensitive.(I have said it before right?)

I know what strangers say about me doesn't matter but I feel like lashing out sometimes and go "Stuf its none of your business." but I don't of course. I just rant it online =="<---such a coward

And I realised recently how timid I am.

Reading a ghost story, those chain mail things and stuff would cause me to have difficulty sleeping.

All because of my imagination.

Tbh I'm supertitious, I believe in everything there is to believe(yes even ailens)

but its not like I tell other people about it I just try to avoid doing things that would offend them or such

thank you for whoever is reading my long rant(I bet theres none I'm too boring of a person)