Dear Popcutie(you were the last to chat with me on AFF) :>

I don't really know how to tell you this but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it last year at the mental hospital and I saw you pour syrup on my pen pal in Ghana. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that the extreme home makeover .

I'm returning the cut toenails to you, but i'll keep the results of blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authoorities about the incarnations as an eskimo.

Go burn,

Guitardrums.

PS; some of the stuff is just random. haha.

Dear (the last person that text messaged/IMed you.)

 

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

 

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

 

 

___12___,

-Your name-

 

1. What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - Our romance is over

Red - Our affair is over

White - I'll join the monastery

Black - I dislike you

Green - Our horoscope doesn't match

Grey - You're a ert

Yellow - I'm selling myself

Pink - Your nostrils are insulting

Brown - The mafia wants you

No shirt - You're a loser

Other - I'm in love with your sister

 

2. Which is your birth month?

January - That night

February - Last year

March - When your dwarf bit me

April - When I tripped on sesame seeds

May - First of May

June - When you put cuffs on me

July - When I threw up

August - When I saw the shrunken head

September - When we skinny dipped

October - When I quoted Santa

November - When your dog ran amok

December - When I changed tennis shoes

 

3. Which food do you prefer?

Tacos - In your apartment

Pizza - In your camping car

Pasta - Outside of Chicago

Hamburgers - Under the bus

Salad - As you ate enchilada

Chicken - In your closet

Kebab - With Paris Hilton

Fish - In women's clothing

Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation

Lasagna - At the mental hospital

Hot dog - Under a state of trance

 

4. What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - Hit on

Red - Insult

Black - Ignore

Blue - Knock out

Purple - Pour syrup on

White - Carve your initials into

Grey - Pull the clothes off

Brown - Put leeches on

Orange - Castrate

Pink - Pull the toupee off

Barefoot - Sit on

Other - Drive out

 

5. What's the color of your underwear?

Black - My best friend

White - My father

Grey - Bill Clinton

Brown - My fart balloon

Purple - My mustard soufflé

Red - Donald Duck

Blue - My avocado plant

Yellow - My pen pal in Ghana

Orange - My Kid Rock-collection

Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper

None - My John F. Kennedy-statue

Other - The crazy monk

 

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?

Scrubs; Man

O.C.; Emotional

One Tree Hill; Open

Heroes; Frostbitten

Lost; High

House; Scarred

Simpsons; Cowardly

The news; Mongolic

Idol; Masochistic

Family Guy; Senile

Top Model; Middle-class

Annat; Ashamed

 

7. Your mood right now?

Happy - How awful I've felt

Sad - How boring you are

Bored - That Santa doesn't exist

Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage

Depressed - That we're cousins

Excited - That there is no solution to this.

Nervous - The middle-east

Worried - That your Honda

Apathetic - That I did a -change

Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster

Cuddly - That I get by garbage men

Overjoyous - That I'm open

Other - That Extreme Home Makeover

 

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?

White - Your ring

Yellow - Your love letters

Red - Your Darth Vader-poster

Black - Your tame stone

Blue - The couch cushions

Green - The pictures from LA

Orange - Your false teeth

Brown - Your contact book

Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs

Purple - Your old lottery coupons

Pink - The cut toenails

Other - Your memories from the military service

 

9. The first letter of your first name?

A/B - Your photo

C/D - The oil stocks

E/F - Your neighbour Martin

G/H - My ity

I/J - The results of blood-sample

K/L - Your left ear

M/N - Your suicide note

O/P - My common sense

Q/R - Your mom

S/T - Your collection of butterflies

U/V - Your criminal record

W/X - David's tricot outfits

Y/Z - Your grades from college

 

10. The last letter in your last name?

A/B - Will always remember

C/D - Will never forget

E/F - Always wanted to break

G/H - Never openly mocked

I/J - Always have felt dirty before

K/L - Will tell the authorities about

M/N - Told in my confession today about

O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about

Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about

S/T - Get sick when I think of

U/V - Always will try to forget

W/X - Am better off without

Y/Z - Never liked

 

11. What do you prefer to drink?

Water- Our friendship

Beer - Senility

Soft drink - A new life as a clone

Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo

Milk - The apartment building

Wine - abuse

Cider - A passionate interest for mice

Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations

Mineral water - Embarrassing rash

Hot chocolate - Eggplant-ism

Whisky - To ruin the second world war

Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

 

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?

Thailand - Warm regards

USA - Best regards

England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail

Spain - Go and drown yourself

China - Disgusting regards

Germany - With ease

Japan - Go burn

Greece - Your everlasting enemy

Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard

Egypt - off now

France - In pain

Other - Greetings to your freaky family

BTW, PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO CREDIT shineelovah4evah AND B2STLYTURKEY :) AND SO FORTH TO WHO EVER YOU STEAL FROM IN THE FUTURE :)