Don't know if any will read this... probaly not, but I just felt like it ...I think...

Lately I don't feel as happy as I should... It looks like I'm happy, but in fact I'm not... I should be, but I can't put myself to it. 

I should explain some things I think... 

Some weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. And I know... it's not the end of the world, I'm not alone because I still have my friends who will allways be there for me. And I keep thinking about that! I really do. I mean comon. I still have a whole life, I'm only 16 XD, or allmost 16.
But Allthought I keep telling myself that, because I know it's true... I still do... actually I don't know how to explain.

I think I changed to much. Before that stupid fish... Yeah, I call him a fish... no offence to Donghae. Donghae is a lovely fish. but my ex just.. bleh~! Anyways, before him things were actually much worse. My school didn't went that well, my notes were way to low. Especially Greek and Economic were so low you could cry because of it. My relation with my mom wasn't going good at all, I shall not explain further. The way I though about myself... well, let's not talk about that either. And many more things

That Fish, kind of changed me... In good and bad ways..
He got me through the whole bad notes period, They're really much better now. He also he helped me with my mom. And he actually got me so far, that I liked myself again.

Only... a few weeks ago I had a depression... And when I'm depressed, then I'm scary as hell.
I think that was too much for him... poor boy couldn't handle my troubles. Well, I don't blame him.

But now, after he broke up (in such a dhfidbdjbgeisfjeof way -.-')  I realized something...

Why should anyone, put his whole life on only ONE person... that's really sick if you think about it. How you can change while dating someone...
You spend less time with your friends (I hope I didn't do that to much), In my case I was less... how shall I explain it... Crazy, as I used to be. I also became less obsessed with Kpop, just because he didn't like me fainting over Super Junior (Who wouldn't ??) and, I didn't wear the same clothes as I used to, I have my own style... but I didn't want to scare him off.

Now I feel free... I can be crazy with my friends again, I can be the fangirl again which I allways, I can stare at Eunhyuk's abs without anyone saying "How could you do that, you have a boyfriend." I can listen NON-STOP to Kpop and I can wear anything I like :)

I think there will never be any relationship, in which you can be completely free... that's really stupid actually. Why can't you just be yourself?? You should be! But you just can't prevent that from happening.

Yeah, that was pretty much everything I wanted to say I guess.

Ohh right;

I really love my friends! Because with them, I can allways be myself. They would never judge me because of me being me, instead they would just join me in  being plain crazy. I LOVE MY FRIENDS!! NEOL SARANGHAE<3