I don't want this.

My father and mother are divorcing soon.

My mother has a new person, my father has one too.

They want to lead their seperate lives.

Sure, I do hate my father sometimes but he's the one who stood by me ever since a tender age.

I never wanted to see the both of them seperate.

Why?

Because if they seperate... I have to choose sides.

I don't want it. I never want to choose sides.

It will mean I'm betraying one parent of mine.

Please, just kill me right now. I'd rather die than go through this.

When my mother said she loved me, I pondered on was that true or not. The kisses between us was fake....

Our distance got further. Where were my former parents?

The ones that used to love me the same way, the ones that accepted each other.

Know what? Today I overhead their fight.

My mother scolded my father that he was useless, and my father spat back that she was a and she only knew to come home late.

I was so shocked when I heard that.

And straight after, they turned to me and my brother, then started lashing the both of us out being "useless", or "worthless".

My heart broke into pieces.

And it seems like to them that wasn't enough, they actually said I was a total failure in academics and I should just give up on all my dreams.

My baby brother was also in a crying mess. (I have two siblings, an older brother and a younger brother.)

My father actually cussed and called him to shut the up. (This isn't intended.)

Was this the family I saw before? Was it still the same? Was it the family I once loved, cherished and of course my parents and siblings?

Problems started arising for the both of us, me and my brother.

Being the younger one, all I could do was succumb to everything they say.

Seriously... please, I don't want this family to break up.

I actually considered cutting myself just to releive some stress.

But no, I wouldn't. I just kept thinking if I really did do that, how will my parents react?

I just had to let this out late at night.  Sorry for interrupting your blog space, but if I don't let it out I think I'm going to go crazy.