Shattered Pieces of A Broken Soul by ilamby

Reviewed by Yana

Title (4/5)
I really love your title, it reflects your story and shows the angst of it. But I have to cut down one mark because instead of ‘Shattered Pieces of A Broken Soul’, it should be ‘Shattered Pieces of a Broken Soul’.

Appearance (10/10)
I decided to give you full marks since you really nailed it! The poster and background really suited your story. Kudos to your graphic designer! The way the blue tones used really gives your story a sad vibrate. Your story is also really neat since your font size and colour is perfect, so it made the process reading your story easier.

Description & Foreword (8/10)
Your description is okay because you give the summary of your story, yet it doesn’t give the whole story away. And then your forewords, you give a little sneak peek into your story and that really made people want to click the next button to know what happened, well to me at least. But I deducted a few points because of the grammar error.

Plot (6/10)
I think the plot is kind a generic but your story really stands out because you know how to make it work.

Originality (8/10)
There are many story with the love relationship between stepsibling, but the way you twist your story made it become an absolute original!

Flow (5/5)
The flow is fine.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (9/20)
I noticed you said that English is not your first language, and so it seems because I noticed a few grammar errors. Some that I found are: 

But then he found funny a bit because he was scared of opening his own house’s door.

It should be: But then he found the situation a bit funny because he was scared of opening his own house’s door.

‘Pull down your pants.’ His order again made Woohyun gasped.

It should be: ‘Pull down your pants.’ He ordered again making Woohyun gasped. 

Or 

‘Pull down your pants.’ His order made Woohyun gasped again.

That’s just some of the error that I found, there are many more. But since English is not your native language, I guess this is not really a big matter because I can still understand what you are trying to write. I’ve read many stories where their grammar level is like kindergarten kids. Your vocab and spelling is okay. I noticed that from chapter 13 onward, you started using double quotation mark instead of single one. I advised that you stick to one style only because that will make people confused to read your story. And some of your punctuation error is not really noticeable; it’s just some careless mistake that we usually did. Maybe you should proof read once again to correct the minor mistakes. For example:

“What are you doing!?”

It should be: “What are you doing?!”

Writing Style (9/10)
Your writing style is nice, and it will be better if you could fixed some of your grammar error. I especially love the part when Myungsoo was locked in the closet by Sunggyu and heard Woohyun got ually abused. You conveyed it greatly and made me feel scared, like I’m the one who got locked. I also could feel Myungsoo emotion, how he feels weak and guilty for not being able to protect and help Woohyun.

Reader's Feedback (10/10)
Full points!! All your readers seem to love your story and anticipated for your update. You also got tons of view!

Ending (-/5)
I won’t take any mark here since your story is still on-going. 

Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
Want me to tell you a secret? *whisper* I’m actually one of your subscribers. Hehe. I personally enjoyed your story. I’m also a big Woogyu shipper! For your story, I like the way you portrayed Woohyun who was ually abused by Sunggyu, but still secretly love his step brother. And then revenge part, but Sunggyu lost his memory! Can’t wait for what happened next!

TOTAL – 79/100

YANA’S NOTE: I hope I’m not too harsh since I try to be as gentle as possible. keke ^^ Hope this is useful and can help to turn your story into a better one.