I Can't Handle SIx! by shoumin

Reviewed by Nicole

Title (3/5)
It grabs people’s attention…

Poster/Trailer (3/5)
It looks plain as it has only 2 main colours… Try inserting more colours to make it more attractive…

Foreword and Descriptions (7/10)
You did well in this part! Keep up the good work!

Originality (7/10)
It’s actually quite original to me… Although you used a school life theme, but you didn’t make it that boring…

Writing Style (8/10)
Your writing style is very unique… Keep it up!

Flow (6/10)
Well the flow is okay… Try improving it…

Plot (13/20)
I apologize if it’s too low, since you’re only on your first chapter, I can’t really judge it now…

Grammar and Spelling (11/20)
Well you have more than 5 errors in a chapter… And that’s serious…

He’s your favourite cousin because he’s the most close with you.
(He’s the closest with you)

Talented not that smart but you study well and that makes you a good student.
(Talented but not that smart… Yet you study well and that makes you a good student)

You rub your eyes and look at your windowpane
(Window pane)

You quickly gone to bed and go to your bathroom to do your business
(You quickly woke up from your bed and went to your bathroom to do your business)

I need to get there so early
(I need to be in school earlier)

You keep your attention on looking at the standing tall, beautiful and cool building
(You kept your attention on the tall, beautiful and cool building)

I’ll think it’s not that far so I’ll walk going to school!
(I think it’s not that far so I’ll walk to school!)

Ending (-/10)
Since you don’t have an ending, let’s just leave this blank…

Total: 50/90 = 64/100

B : 60-74

My note to you…
Well… Firstly, sorry for the late review as I have competitions going on… I hope that you will continue to write your story… It’s actually a good starting point to be in… And I apologize again if the review is too harsh… Well, good luck in your story!