In love with my ! by lovely_ninja_monkey
Reviewed by citylights

title | two/five 
Hm. This title sums up the story, but it isn’t great. Sure, it catches the attention of some erted readers out there, but to the general public, it’s not really appealing. The exclamation point isn’t necessary (as titles generally don’t have punctuation aside from commas). The title isn’t really unique, either - I’ve seen plenty of these kinds of titles before.
♢overall; does a good job of summing up story, but not catchy nor unique.♢

appearance | three/five
The poster and background are quite nice. However, I think you kind of overdid the red; it’s kind of hard to look at. The text in the poster is hard to read (I suggest going with a different color and font, such as Trajan Pro in a tad lighter red? I don’t know). 
Now let’s talk about the appearance of the text! Personally, the font you use in your story is hard to look at and just bleh. I wouldn’t advice using all those colors, which you used a lot of in your description and foreword. The lighter gray color you used in some chapters is just a big no-no - it’s difficult to read. 
♢overall. poster and background look okay. font is meh and sometimes hard to read.♢

description and foreword | six/ten
Your description is too long and redundant. I think it’s better to catch those readers first with short but mind-boggling questions. Your character descriptions should go in “Description” rather than “Foreword”. 
Just a head’s up - there are many grammatical and spelling errors in your description and foreword which I will be mentioning in the said section.
♢description is too long. character details go in description. many errors. not catchy.♢

plot | fifteen/twenty-five
It’s not really that special nor unique; I’ve read plenty of stories like this. That’s the biggest problem I have with your story. It’s not really realistic, either. The characters - specifically Myungsoo - are extremely irrational (if this was real, they’d probably be classified as mentally unstable), and everyone is getting left and right. There isn’t much I’m able to say other than that.

characterization | fifteen/twenty
This section was quite iffy. You only show the very obvious emotions the characters feel - like “Oh, he’s my brother, you can’t touch him!” The characters are extremely irrational. For example, I doubt that anyone in real life would say “Oh, you can’t hurt my brother... but it’s okay if my brother hurts you; I don’t care about that”. Unless the characters are mentally unstable. I don’t know... the characters are too shallow and it feels a lot like you’re manipulating their feelings for the plot’s sake. I would like to know more about their deeper feelings. 
Chapter 17’s characterization was nice, though! It was interesting to learn about Myungsoo’s revelation. 

writing style | eleven/fifteen
It’s not quite detailed enough, but it can do, I suppose. There isn’t much to say here; that’s the main thing that could be improved upon.

grammar and spelling | thirteen/fifteen
Wow! English is your fourth language? Amazing. 
I can understand everything you write, so props to you for that! I would definitely suggest getting a beta reader to improve this section, though. It would look more professional and attract a larger group of readers. There were many spelling errors - for example... “abuses” not “abusses”; “does” not “douse”, etc. 


enjoyment | two/five
At times I felt like I enjoyed it, but at others, it was a little dry. It was a little too predictable, which lessened the excitement factor by a lot.


Score {65%}