I don't really know if I should be talking about this on here, but here I go:

This week has been perfectly fine and today was no exception. That was, until I just realized something: maybe, just maybe, I do like him. I've been in denial lately and I'm still unsure of how I feel but I guess it's more leaning towards yes, rather than no. Anyway, I ended up thinking about my past with other crushes and realized how those failed oh-so miserably. Now, I'm not afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of us becoming strangers after the semester ends. I've found a friend in him and I don't want to lose that. We're not close, but we are friends, nonetheless. 

Here comes the pathetic part. I've always thought so lowly of myself, always drowning myself in self-pity. I've never had the confidence in some of the things I do unless I have to be confident. I see myself unworthy of any relationship or for any guy to like me. I've heard of guys liking me, but I always brush it off, thinking that my friends are just saying that. With a lot of convincing, I will start to believe it but I end up wondering why in the world a member of the male population would ever like me. Of all people, why me? 

Now I put one and one together. What are the chances of him ever liking me back? To him, as I see it, I'm just a friend of his that doesn't fit his "standards". I truly am pathetic. I do this to myself all the time, so often that I find it weird that I'm feeling this way. 

Sigh.

Sorry for rambling on. I doubt that anybody would even read this. Oh, there I go again with my patheticness. Anyway, sorry to bore you with my non-exsistent love life. Thank you for reading this.