I need HELP!!!

I need someone's opinion for something i'm writing..

it's okay if you can't beta it.. i just need someone to tell me that it's okay.. (XD)

Coz i think, i think, i really really think i'm overdoing the whole thing.. i think it's over kill.. i spent writing 2 pages of introduction (of sorts) and i think it's tooooo dramatic.. :(

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME..