My Diary

 

24^th March 2007

This is one of my most happy lives. I was living happily my mother, step-father and two half-brothers Natan and Lauri. We were living a happy life, no problems, no money issues or things like that. When my mother was busy with her work, I would hold my responsibility as the oldest to take care of my younger brothers and watched over them. At least for now.

 

08^th June 2007

What happened to my step-father? Lately, he had been coming home late drunk. It mumbled something that I don’t really understand. I make sure no one in my family noticed as I helped him to his bed.

I started to felt strange on how my step-father looking at me one day. Whenever I was neared him, he would stare at me with his eyes…those dangerous eyes. Why are you looking at me this way? Stop it! I was scared so I went bed early that day.

 

11^th August 2007

Why? Somebody tell me why. What I had done wrong. I don’t want this life. My little world had crash down because of him. I don’t have feeling for him but it wasn't the same from him.

Today was the worst day of my life. As usual, he came home late and drunk again. I helped him to his bedroom when suddenly he punch me and beat me up. I was helpless lying on the floor getting beaten. Then, I saw him closed the door and locked it. I don’t know why he is doing that. The next thing I knew that I was lying in his bed and he used his disgusting hands touching my body.  I was scared and I wanted to scream but no words came out from my mouth. Before I knew it, I was .

 

14^th November 2007

I was too scared to say anything about what he had done to me. This thing happened several times but I kept quiet. I don’t want to lose everything that was precious to me. Before I knew it, I become cold, distant and talk less. My smile had suddenly disappeared. Before I knew it, I become a mute. I started to skipped school and hide mself alone in my room. I also started to wear black only. My mother was worried about me and always asked me what wrong. Bu, I just shook my head telling her I fine.

Today, she confronted with him but the latter ignored her and drank his alcohol again. He then yelled at her, calling her and throw things at her. No, he can’t do this. He can’t hurt my mother. I always saw her crying. I felt very terrible.

 

(A/N: Sungjong skip some pages)

 

15^th October 2010

I was shocked when my mother suddenly came to me about taking me to Korea. Why? I asked her. But she could only smile. She told me that we will be leaving for Korea in a week time. Why? I don’t want to leave my country, my grandfather, my brothers… just don’t want even thought he was here.

 

21^st October 2010

Tomorrow, I will say goodbye to this land. I started to tears as I was preparing my bag for the trip. Suddenly, my step-father came bursting in the room with an angry face. He was drunk again.

What are you doing and where are you planning to go? He asked but I just kept silent with no expression. He was angered with my attitude and started to beat me up violently and me countlessly for the past two hours. I was in pain and crying devastatedly, hoping someone could save me. Just then, my mother arrived at this moment and discovered what was happening. She was mad at my step-father of doing this to me so she called the police but he jumped on her and beat her. I was helpless lying in the bed seeing him beat my loving mother as my body was too hurt to move. Luckily, the police arrived and arrest my father. I blank out without knowing what happened to my mother.

 

24^th October 2010

When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital with my grandfather beside me. I then realize that I had pass out for three day after the incident. He told me that the man went to jail and my mother was staying in coma at the very same hospital of mine. Is my nightmare finally over?  I then pleaded my grandfather to take me to see her. He agreed.

When I arrived next to her, she was lying on the bed with pale face. I called her several time but she did not reply. I cried and past out again.

 

1^st November 2010

Starting from today onwards, I will be living with my grandfather and two younger brothers. My grandfather did not tell them my step-father was in jail and my mother was in coma. He lied to them they had gone on a business trip and may not came back for years. My brothers just nod their head and believed what he said. I just stood there listening to their conversation while inside of me, I was crying. I hope I could live a normal life.

 

(A/N: Sungjong skip some pages again)

 

20^th December 2011

I was standing beside my grandfather looking at the person in front of me. He was tall and muscular. He was wearing a black suite and a sunglass on his face. He kept staring at me through his sunglass that made me scared. I quickly avoid eye contact with him and hide behind my grandfather. There was long silent at the hallway. I heard the man calling my name and my grandfather flinched. Why what wrong? But my grandfather sent me away to take care of my brothers.

I was curious with what they are saying over at the living room. To my amazed, that guy works for my real father who is now at Korea and he was told to bring me back to Korea to meet him as well as … Brothers? Do I have brothers other than Lauri and Natan. I was shocked. After hearing their conversation, do I want to leave here and meet my real father and my brothers? What shocked me was that my mother was planning all this to let me returned back to Korea before she was in coma. She wanted me to get away from my step-father’s wrath. Before I knew it, my grandfather told me to pack my things and get ready to leave for Korea first thing in the morning. I just sit on the floor with no expression but inside my heart is hurting.

 

22th December 2011

I was nervous today as I will be meeting my real father as well as my brothers too?  What are they like? Are they friendly? What if they don’t like me? When the moment I saw my brothers… was speechless.  They crowned around me like I was a display. They thought that I was a girl but I’m not. When I observed them more, they were quite interesting to me.

Eunwoo was a rebel. He could be funny and ert sometimes. Youngjae was cool and calm. He was also caring sometimes just like my mother. Sangmin look innocent and cute. Can act like elementary student. Junho is bi-polar, sometime mean, sometime kind. Jeremie  shy and gullible. He is also a quiet person. As foe maknae, Chunghee, he is arrogant and don’t trust anyone beside himself. These are my brothers.

 

(A/N: I hop is not too crappy and boring)