I stared at my CP not expecting anything but at the back of my head thoughts of "might" flashes every other second, hoping that the wall you created will crash. As I hope, my eyes wandered from my telly to my phone telly-phone as if I'm in a trance REM about to drift off to dreamland then it rang. Your name on the screen as lights goes on and off.

Hesitation filled my mind and I felt my chest tightened. Every second felt a lifetime- should I answer? Should I drop? And if I answer am I ready for what I'm about to hear? -- it rang again...

I told myself it! I asked for it. I should be able to handle

The voice on the other end sounded familiar after a long time of not hearing your voice I was not sure if I could still remember it. I did - and after hearing you I felt a certain kind of comfort. It calmed me for half a sec.

then awkward silence

I was speechless I choked I couldn't even talk. I just pressed the red button

I tremble from the center of it all... I couldn't muster the courage to ask you why you left me.

For months I've been keeping myself occupied so that thoughts of you be pushed in the deep part of my conscious.I kept myself busy. I escape. I tried to move on. Succumb to temporary aids that help me forget. All efforts are a waste

I realized...

I was not over you...