HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

It's a big day today for all the momma's! XDD

That's a poster I made. LOL. I know it's the best and yea, it looks very gloomy. >.<

I had a one shot for MOTHER'S DAY, but it ain't finished. I couldn't pull myself to finish it, because Mother's Day is hard for me. Even though that one shot ain't finished, I have to something to say though. And it's to my momma.

" Hey momma. It's another year that I'm going through this without you. Another year, another month, another day. I know that when I lived with you, we both hardly cared to celebrate Mother's Day, because there was nothing special about it. Between you and I, we both just usually sit our fat butts at home and eat good food. Haha, I miss those days. Don't you? Haha. 

Momma, how are you doing? There's never a day that I never stopped thinking about you. It's been 5 years, and I just wanna know how you're living. Oh yea, I'm living with dad now. Remember when I always so naughty and you'd tell me you'd send me to live with dad? LOL. I'm doing okay I guess. Living with dad and his family, they're nice people. I clicked with them pretty good. But I prefer living with you like old times. Just the two of us. 

I'm always gonna say this, even though you're not here anymore to hear me say it. I'm sorry momma. I'm sorry for never being there for you when you were sick and everything. You needed my help, and all I ever thought was about fun. I was a young kid. A young and stupid kid. I always thought that I can have everything just because you're there you know?

Then times go by and you left my side. My eyes opened up and I realized that, nothing is the same anymore. I experienced the real world that I never had before. Everything just seemed to have changed ever since you left. I had to work hard, I had to get up by myself, and I never had a decent meal. 

HAHAHAHA OKAY, I SAID I WASN'T GNNA CRY AND TEARS ARE ROLLING. HAHAHHA. DON'T CRY AIITE PEOPLE! DON'T CRY!! XDD

Momma, I miss you. When you passed away, I thought that maybe I should just follow you too. School started being a pain, everyone started being stricter on me, and my Xiong brother doesn't even communicate with me. I went through hell living with him and his wife.

Momma, I started realizing how life was when I lived with him. I don't know if he loved me, but never once did he stand up for me. He stoop me so low to the ground like I'm a piece of crap to him. He didn't even help me get up to my feet when his wife and her family ganged up on me talking hella smack to me. They said I was just some kid on the street and he didn't even yell at them. That's when I gave up. I was so close to dropping out of school and running away.

I'm not blaming you though. You're my momma. THE COOLEST MOTHER IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. We had our laughs, our cries, and even our jokes. I see everyone loving their mothers, and I miss you much. But when I see others talking about their momma, it hurts me. They don't know that, when they lose their momma, their world turns upside down. 

I never understood the loosing of anyone until you left. I remember when we argued and I told you I wanted to live with dad and everything. I guess the living with my dad came true, but I don't want to live with him. I want you. I want to live with you again. Have our good ol' times like back then. Dad is the whole world to me too, but you raised me being my momma and daddy. 

It's hard that you're gone momma. Living with you mostly my 7th grade year was really something. I wish that I could've grew up differently. I should've never thought about fun. I gave you so much troubles, you must've hated me. HAHA. 

You never got to see me graduate, but it's okay. I got my diploma! Even though no one believed that I can do it, I DID IT! I graduated with my high school diploma. I moved out of that stinkin' Xiong brother's life and lived with dad. I became a stronger person too. I stopped being a push over. I remember back then when I used to come home looking mad and you would question me what's wrong. I never told you because I didn't want you to worry. 

When it came to your funeral, I didn't cry. I wanted to stay strong. When I saw how my sister cried so hard and made a big scene, I didn't want the aunties to pull me away. I acted normal and laughed with all my cousins. Everyone must've questioned around saying why I didn't cry, but I had my reasons. No one needed to know.

But momma, I didn't cry because I didn't want anyone to pity me 'cause you're gone forever. You're not suffering anymore. You're out of pain. When my other sister asked me why didn't I cry at your funeral, I answered her, 'because I already cried at the hospital and my tears dried out for those two nights before the funeral.' I couldn't tell her the truth. I wanted to cry a lot, but then even though you left me at a young age, I wanted them to know I can be strong. I'm a strong kid that you raised me up to be. And I'm always going to stay strong momma.

I hope that you're doing good though momma. I miss you lots. Our memories are forever treasured in my heart. I cried every time just listening to TOP's song OH MOM. He's a real hottie and you would've loved my fantasy husband. Lol. I just wish you were here like every other momma and know my fantasy world.

You're my best friend, my true friend, and my best momma. I love you a lot momma. "

That was my message to my mom, now here's my message to you people who's reading.

You will never get a friend like your mom. Some of you may hate your mom because she nags on you too much and all these things. But your mom cares and worries for you, that's why she's being strict and nagging on you. You can say that I don't know what you're going through and that I'm just speaking bull, but just watch.

Once you lose your momma, you lose everything.

To those who especially grew up with your single mom, love your mother. Take care of her. Have a talk with her. Go out on a walk together. Take pictures together and make everything memorable.

I was young and didn't get to work to get any money to buy a camera to take pictures with my momma. Do you know how hard it's for me to watch videos of everyone having pictures with their mom? It hurts.

My stepmomma in Fresno and my stepmomma here in Wisconsin are cool mothers. But the best one will always be the one who gave birth to me. I miss her each and everyday. When I see a post or anything about MOM, I distant myself from it. It's just sad.

And to all those mother en chain letters saying, "YOU BETTER SEND IT OR YOUR MOMMA'S GONNA DIE!" you for saying such jokes. Do you think it's funny to those who grew up without even having a mom? Not everyone in the world will live with a mother's love. Not everyone will have their mother's love. 

But give it a chance. Your mom is your best friend, your homie g dog, your gangsta buddy, everything. 

For me, every Mother's Day will be gloomy and sad. Everyone celebrates it happily and tomorrow everyone is going to celebrate my Mother's Day for my stepmom. Well, her kids are and I am too, but it's just not going to be the same. I will have to eventually sit there and enjoy it even if I wish to be alone. 

So for everyone who thinks your mother hates you, she doesn't. She loves you. 

You can go on saying she beats you and everything, whatever. My mom and I went through all that . She hitted me, yelled at me, but she brought me to this world and taught me what's right and what's wrong. 

There's never a day that I regret living on for her. I had times that I wanted to die, but that's because I was going through a lot without her. But now, I have a new family that makes me happy. I regret for not saying good bye to her though. I didn't have the chance. But I did have the chance to tell her I love her.

So tell your momma you love her and you're thankful to her that she brought you to this world. 

-

I know to everyone I seem so HYPER, COOL, FUNNY, AND EVERYTHING. haha. I really am. It's just, I have those hard times in life sometime yanno?

But don't worry about me. I'll get back to normal. I don't talk about myself much, because I don't want anyone to know that I been through all these and everything. I don't come on first impression to everyone that I am a sadistic type of person. I want everyone to know that I am a jumpy, hyper, and gleeful person. 

People will always ask me, "HOW DO U GO THRU THIS KNOWING U DONT HAVE A MOMMA? AREN'T YOU LIKE, SAD?"

To me, my response is, "WHAT DO YOU ME TO DO? LOOK SAD AND TRY TO GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION SO THEY CAN PITY ME? I RATHER KEEP MY HEAD UP HIGH, SMILE TO THE WORLD. EVEN IF SHE'S GONE, I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW I'M GONNA KEEP LIVING A SAD LIFE WITHOUT HER. I WILL SMILE AND LIVE FOR HER SAKE AS SHE BROUGHT ME TO THIS WORLD. I'M GONNA LIVE LIFE AS IS. AND SOMEDAY, WE'LL MEET AGAIN."

But like I said, sometimes my friends who are so close to me, they never see me as the gloomy type. When I tell'em my story, they'll give me a shock face like, "YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT TYPE AT ALL!" 

Life is full of surprises! Love your momma, love your life, and LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR MOMMA! BE HAPPY! Shows the world that you're more than what you're made of. XDD

Happy Mother's Day again.