The biggest mistake possible . . . falling in love with your best friend. I did, and I’m suffering from it. gah, I hate it. 

I hate myself for falling so hard, I hate that I’m being such a iiicth to him right now, but I don't want to fall any deeper, I don't want to get hurt in the long run. I want to shout, scream and cry right now, but I can't that won’t do nothing. Hiding and ignoring him won’t do anything either. Shoot, I even skipped school today b/c of him. Yet he still contacted me.

I skipped today, because yesterday, he was upset because his ex was crying, I don't get it, he says that he hates his ex, he even called her a b****, yet he still cares for her. I was upset yesterday, and was down, sad, and crying, but he didn't do anything. It really because he just ignored me for her, I mean we've gone through a lot of things together, and I would have thought that he would have said something to me, but he didn't. I understand that he was having troubles, but this was ways after that. So I am so hurt, maybe it's jealousy that he is upset because of her.

It’s so frustrating, I want to cry but I can't. It’s so frustrating that everyone sees it but him. It’s frustrating that I said I wouldn't fall for anyone else and I did. I have no one to turn to. But I feel like things are getting awkward. . . .

I want to tell him, but I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I am such an idiot aren't I? :/

SORRY FOR MY RANDOMNESS. NEEDED TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE XD