now, the title pretty much explains it, doesn't it?

i just received news that chuu is out from loona and i just,,, idk what to feel. loona is the reason why i'm here in the first place, and i'm really disheartened to see one of my biases, the backbone of loona, go just like that :/ and honestly, i feel like i've really grown out of my kpop phase now. i still do enjoy listening to korean music in general, but i can't dabble in the fandom like i used to. no one is pressuring me to get into certain groups or anything, but sometimes researching materials for my ocs/applyfics leads me to delve into fandoms that i really don't care about. of course, that's a me problem and i'm not blaming anyone for it. it all just boils down to me just wanting to enjoy kpop for its music, and absolutely nothing else. most of the active groups of this generation (and those that are liked by a majority of aff) aren't for me, that is all.

and yes, that means i'm also leaving the applyfic community. it's really not because of anyone or any external factor, but i just lost my passion for writing, that's all. i would also say that i get discouraged to apply because all throughout my track record for applyfics, i always put a lot of time and energy into creating well-written characters, otherwise i wouldn't even dare to send them out. i don't mean to call anyone out (that'd be hypocritical of me since i'm guilty of it too), but it does feel awful to have my efforts lost in fics that never went past the application process.

now to make things slightly better, i do have plans of passing my only ongoing fic (k-os) to two friends of mine, both of whom have accepted my offer to take over the fic. yes, it won't be the same without me writing in it, but i trust them with it and both of them are better, more passionate writers than i am. i will reveal the new authors as i finish the ongoing reviews (which i have... dreaded for too long, unfortunately), and then i'll be signing out for good. but for now, i'm still kind of here although i no longer have any reason to be.