the tannies are enlisting,
& luna is having an existential crisis again.
 

ever since the news dropped, i've been quiet about it because i didn't really know what to say. i cried a lot, my thoughts were a gigantic jumbled mess. of course we knew it was coming, no matter how hard the government tried to keep them around to continue to line their pockets we knew bangtan have been constantly saying that they fully intend to serve no matter what. but it seemed so... sudden? i was truly hoping it would be after their tenth anniversary. however, i'm truly proud of the boys for sticking to their guns. pretty much no one really wanted them to enlist except for antis.

it's just gonna be really weird... to have them as a constant presence in my life for nearly 10 years and suddenly not. i'll be 28 when they'll be all together again. that thought alone sent me into a spiral. however, i don't want to keep talking about the enlistment itself. it's been a topic that has been exhausted over these last few days and i honestly just want to distract myself from it. no, i created this blog to reminisce on what bts set out to create when they debuted and have succeeded at ten fold; their good music. specifically, the songs and lyrics that shaped me into the person i am today.

truly & honestly speaking, i don't think i would still be here right now if it wasn't for bts and their music. their art is what they should be known for right now, and that is what i want to focus on (and rewatching their recent busan concert because it was the best show i've ever seen... and it was FREE). without their discography in general but these songs specifically, life would be really difficult for me and i just want to highlight how important this work is to me! i hope one day i will be able to thank the tannies for what they've done, but the only thing i can do for right now is talk about these songs so that is what i will do. any other armies reading this, i hope you love these songs too and find comfort in this post. people who have no idea who or what i'm talking about, i hope you still got some enjoyment reading this post and perhaps you'll find a new favorite song! without further ado, let's reflect.
 

this song... really means everything to me. when i first heard it, the lyrics didn't hit as hard because i was a teen, but listening to this as an aimless 20-something feels like a hug from someone that understands. it makes me a little sad that many out there only know this song for the dance and not the lyrical content or the beautiful instrumental.
 

bts is the reason i pay attention to intros on albums, though mainly just on their own albums, because suga went so hard on this track. i graduated high school when this album came out, it couldn't have been a better time because i really had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, all my peers that already had plans and were moving forward were leaving me behind. i listen to this when i need to remind myself that my happiness is most important. a message i apparently need often because many songs on this list share that same sentiment...
 

"there’re a lot of things in the world that you can’t control" is something i specifically need to remind myself often, as a chronic over-thinker. as a follow up to part 1's intro i feel like it takes the message from the first part while also saying that you still have to move forward, just don't fret too much at mistakes you make because you're young and only human. it's better to persevere and make mistakes than not move at all. i wanted to get a tattoo dedicated to this song but jimin beat me too it.
 

this is probably one of the most relatable songs rm has ever written. i still get goosebumps when i remember seeing him preform this song live, hearing him change the lyrics from "i wish i could love myself" to "i really do love myself" in person was a moment i'll never forget. so now whenever i hear this song i still think of how much i can relate to the original lyrics, but i also become inspired by rm's changes which inspires me to believe that i too can one day say that i love myself.
 

i could kick the tannies for making one of their best songs a hidden track (though their reasoning makes me emotional); it gives me gray hairs knowing that even some of the most die hard armies may not know this song even exists. i added it to my spotify by using the local files feature but i kinda regret that because whenever it comes on shuffle i instantly start crying. this song is just an experience. it breaks my heart for them; seeing that you were once in a desert, striving for the sea which you eventually find. but then coming to the realization that it was just the desert still, only disguised by your blood sweat & tears? i can't ever get over it. i'm so happy that the members (seemingly) found happiness.
 

i just find this one of bts' prettiest songs. it's truly one of my favorites; just a gentle reminder that they're by my side with their music. i'm not alone, even when it often feels that way. 
 

this song always reminds me of tomorrow; it means just as much to me as that song does. we are taught from birth that we must always have a goal that we must be running towards constantly, even if we trample over others or start neglecting our own feelings. i still don't have any majors goals or dreams for myself, paradise tells me that it's okay as long as i am still breathing and living in the moment.
 

this is another song that makes me cry whenever i listen to it. another song that i saw live that is another core memory for me. admittedly i haven't listened to this song too much because it makes me feel too much; it's very important to me still. i would never ever be able to create a top 5 or top 10 of bts' best songs because i would find it impossible, but i at least know without a doubt would this song would be on there.
 

getting the context that this song was written by the rapline because the members debated disbanding shattered my whole world dude. knowing that suga played it for all of them and they all cried? why would they just break my heart like that? this song took on a whole meaning for me after getting that info. it's relatable for any situation where you part from someone, romantic or not. whenever i hear it i just can't help but be relieved that bangtan were able to get through their rough patch and not disband.
 

i've always considered myself a moon child from a young age, just taking one look at my profile would make that pretty obvious. this song spoke to me right away for that reason. this is the anthem for people who prefer the night time, who feel like they can finally breathe because the rest of the world is sleeping. 10/10 recommend listening with headphones while staring at the moon, i've done this as often as i can ever since this song came out and i still haven't gotten tired of this song yet. rm is a poet.
 

this is such a comfort song for me. the message that little old me is important because i'm a star that lights up the sky even in the darkest night, it's what i need to hear when i feel absolutely worthless. this song is a huge hug between bts and armies, we are each other's stars in our skies and we got each other. sue me, it's cheesy but it makes me fuzzy inside!
 

this is another comfort song. whenever i hear it it takes me back to 2019, which was a really good year for me. this song is so pretty, the lyrics are beautiful but not the main focus for me at least (except for that constellation line, almost wanna get that tattooed on me it's so pretty) it's more so the vibes of the instrumental and nostalgia it makes me feel.
 

i can't with louder than bombs... another song that i haven't listened to as much as i would like because of the mood i get into afterwards. it's such an important song for bangtan to have written, i'm so glad they did. they've gotten so much from everywhere just for existing and yet they never stopped singing for us. i'm so grateful for all the pain they went through just to bring us good music, they would've been justified at any point if they quit but they always persevered because they truly love their craft and their fans. 
 

j-hope is my ultimate bias, my only ultimate bias until two years ago when i finally came to terms with how much jungkook weaseled his way in. we know his sunshine persona is exactly that, a persona, but it's easy to forget sometimes that he is human and is most likely just as sad as the rest of us. blue side lets us get a peak into that raw feeling, it reminds me of when suga said that during predebut times j-hope was the saddest person he'd ever seen. this is one of the prettiest songs i've ever heard, the wind chimes aren't on beat but don't feel out of place at all and this song wouldn't be the same without them. i could listen to it on a 10 hour loop eagerly. 
 

the newest song on this list, i love all the songs that the tannies have been involved with recently (especially run bts- seeing that live during the busan concert was an out of body experience- i can't believe i didn't pay a dime to see it) but there's something about this song specifically that just resonates with me. most likely it's because suga produced it, anything he touches is guaranteed to touch me, but jungkook's vocals also pierce right through me too. i can't believe this masterpiece is an ost for a webtoon of all things. sometimes we get into feelings of pure despair that feel never-ending and yet, hearing something simple like "please stay alive" by someone is enough to make you reconsider certain things. that is what this song does for me, anyway. this song deserves more flowers.