I'm the kind of person who would sometimes read too much between the lines. When something amusing happens, I would relate it to something that happened to me before or in my life, and would even go as far as to wonder what it all meant, and what is it trying to say to me.

Today's not really that big of a day. As always, today was something that I would just cross off the calendar, but it's really the little things that make my day less mundane, that would make me kinda look forward to what's to come tomorrow.

Last night, I was watching Age of Youth's 4th episode. The main focus of the episode was Yoon Jin-myung, who is a college senior working her off to make ends meet. One night when she got home, she looked over the window to see her coworker who dropped her off at home. Her housemates got curious about her sudden action and asked her about it. She felt flustered and immediately attempted to close the window, which made her accidentally crush her left index finger as it got stuck on the window when she tried to slide it close. It left a blood clot on her finger, which has gotten worse when she continued working as a waitress despite having an injury. At the end of the episode, her nail fell off and became one of the reasons why she cried so bad the night she went home after her shift.

This morning, a similar thing happened to me. I was struggling to open the lid of the bucket where we store our rice, which caused my nail to almost flip off from my fingers. After setting the rice to cook, I looked at my fingers and found out that my index and middle finger got the hit kekekeke. But the most affected one was my index finger, which was actually on my left hand. (Talk about coincidence skdjfskds). Though it wasn't that bad to be given such a huge fuss, I was just taken back to the character's story, and how much I empathized with her. We all have this experience, memory, or a predicament that makes us feel immense hurt and pain that feels like, in Yoon Jin-myung's words, "feel like dying." Going through life trying to bury such feelings, avoiding them actually makes it worse, and when we have reached our limit, we won't bend but break.

It was probably her first time crying that hard, and she probably felt embarrassed showing that side of her to her housemates. At some point in our lives, some of us (if not all), wear a mask to hide whatever we want to hide. Some of us might think we don't need help, that we can still manage. And when we finally do, we'd see other people struggling just like we do. We'd step back and keep everything once again to ourselves. There may be battles we need to face alone, but we should also remember that there are people in our lives who would be willing to help us or someone we can just confide in. I hope and pray that people struggling and suffering would be finally free of the pain and hardships they live with. That we would be able to live life in happiness and comfort, along with many other things we desire and deserve of having.

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sigh... this ongoing rain and cold weather just make me more sentimental ksksksksks... life has been chaotic these days, i'm stuck and i really need a breather. gotta let some thoughts out to remind myself too.

hwaiting everyone! ^^

oh and Age of Youth is a nice k-drama. the story being centered on college students is just what i needed right now. go ahead and check it out.