Yoooo (Dream!)

How are you all doing? You all probably thought I wouldn't ever come back, esp since my hiatus has been a whole year and I can't genuinely explain it otherwise than: I have severe health issues that I haven't been able to better in years. I'm currently sick at home and have no job, because I am purposely taking time off for myself and try to rediscover things I used to love before severe depression dried up all my passion and inspiration for things.

Enough about me and let's address the elephant in the room: The Lucas drama. My nctzennie heart is just a mess at the moment. Especially because - as you could've seen from my stories - he was one of my absolute favorites within NCT. Watching the rumors pile up and seeing SMENT making a statement that he is sorry for things just hit the nail in the coffin for me. Before saying anything I wanted to make sure to wait for official statements first before abandoning him, but SMENT pretty much acknowledging Lucas has done SOMETHING wrong pretty much settled it for me. My interest for Lucas is over as per this week. Whether he was framed (innocent) or not.

Much to my concern I still have a lot of NCT related fanfics in my written collection of stories (aka all of them) and some include Lucas. I'm pretty sure more nctzennies have had to face the same struggles as I do: Do I leave these Lucas related stories be or do I remove them and write new stories instead? It is very painful, because I worked really hard on those series and it gained me the original audience that gave me a chance as an author in the first place. But then again it is very painful for me to even look at right now. To be honest I've been wanting to kind of start over as a fanfic writer and maybe this was the ultimate sign from the higher forces to do so.

Sorry this is so long, but I had to share what was on my mind right now. I'm still in the process of deciding. The only thing I know for certain is that I genuinely want to come back and write again and this time around I'm more certain. I've already been trying to write a few things for myself and I feel confident about it. All in all good news.